Magazine Death Toll Told in Song

But It's Missing Many of the Victims

Posted by Ann Marie Kerwin on 12.16.08 @ 04:39 PM

"The many paper publications writers once were writing for
Have mostly disappeared and left a handful all are fighting for..."

So begins "The Morbid Major Magazine Song," a low-fi music video about the magazine industry's modern struggles (borrowing its tune from Gilbert and Sullivan's "I Am a Very Model of A Modern Major General").

The song, which appears to have been created by Bill Dyszel in October for the 60th Anniversary of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, seems pretty comprehensive. But it does omit some recent shutdowns, including Men's Vogue, Cottage Living, Radar, Home, Play, 02138, Stuff, Business 2.0, Elle Girl, Playgirl, Celebrity Living, Inside TV, Games for Windows, Luxury Spa Finder, Savoy, Shop Etc., Gear, Vitals, Disney Adventures, Cargo and Premiere.

Please note, however, that the song includes Harper's for some reason. Harper's is most definitely still publishing.

"The Morbid Major Magazine Song"

The many paper publications writers once were writing for
Have mostly disappeared and left a handful all are fighting for
They went by names like Mirabella, Cosmo Girl, and Living Well
Amazing Stories, Omni, and Organic Style and Mademoiselle
And Spirit of Aloha, which you may perchance have read in flight
And also Windows Sources, HomePC, Musician, Cue and Byte
And 7 Days and Audio, and Quick and Simple and Cachet
And, PC Magazine, but no understood that anyway.
When Budget Living says they're broke, you know conditions aren't so nice.
And don't forget Success, whose claim to fame is that they failed twice.
McCalls, Industry Standard, House & Garden all have gone away
And Rosie sank as fast and deep as Underwater USA.

When Country Journal, Harper's, Jewish Woman, Coronet and Mode
Have followed New Age Journal as they all were flushed down some commode
When Blueprints future plans have all been relegated to the past
And National Lampoon will surely not be who is laughing last.
When Women's Sports and Fitness, Golf for Women, Gusto, Sync and Spy
Are only sold along with Lifetime at that newsstand in the sky
All writers start to fear that their careers are headed for the drain
A lot like Talk and Child and Life and Look and Lear's and George and Jane.
The experts all are telling us that in our brave new century
There'll be new opportunities exciting and adventur-y
But to a freelance writer none of this may seem too funny,
Cause you know the next to go will close up shop and owe you money.