Dear Fast Feeders, Please Keep Your Meat Away From the Ladies
Sexualized Sandwich Bits Are Getting Tired, Disgusting

Why, just look at this disgusting effort from Burger King, which not only includes a reference to the length of the meat-filled sandwich, but also features the word "blow" and the wide open, red-ringed mouth of a shocked young lady. Makes me wonder why they didn't go with 9 inches as a tribute to Alex Bogusky's diet book. Perhaps 7 inches was cheaper and had the added benefit of not making the target audience feel like it didn't ... wait for it ... measure up. (Actually, according to Burger King, the ad wasn't created by Crispin Porter & Bogusky. UPDATE: According to BK, "this advertisement is running to support a limited promotion in the Singapore market and is not running in the U.S. or any other markets." Which totally makes it all OK, then!)
I can't decide whether I find this more or less disgusting and off-putting than the Quiznos "Toasty Torpedo" effort, in which the oven asks the young Quiznos staffer to "put it in me." This comes 10 seconds after the young man makes passing reference to not doing something again because "that burned."
Things have gotten so out of hand in the category -- and Quiznos ads are typically so bad -- that most people assumed an online video featuring porn actresses reenacting "Two Girls and a Cup" with a Quiznos sub was actually a legit ad effort from the marketer. (It was, in fact, a Playboy spoof.)
Carl's Jr. and Hardee's, meanwhile, aren't going to take a sloppy second place in this race. Oh no. The folks who somehow thought it would be a good idea to conjure up images of STDs in their commercials by featuring Paris Hilton are now taking a sort of "Girls Gone Wild" approach. After the chain's latest efforts -- including Padma Lakshmi making her Hindu forebears cry (though, I'll admit, I loved that ad for all the very same reasons I'm complaining about here), dim-bulb "actress" Audrina Patridge eating a Teriyaki burger on the beach, and a YouTube celebrity stunt -- it is now giving young women across the country a chance to get half nekkid and defile themselves as part of a fast-food marketing stunt. The poor man's Megan Fox featured on the company's Hot Chicks Eating Burgers promo can fill you in on the details. In short, ladies, lick sauce off your fingers while making eyes at the camera and you could win a whole $1,000 and a trip for two to Vegas and a chance (just a chance, mind you) to participate in an upcoming Carl's Jr. or Hardee's marketing campaign.
Wouldn't it be hilarious if the winner were allowed to participate ... as a key grip?
Anyway, just my way of saying, look guys, we get it. And maybe this is helping sales with the crowd that hoses down in Axe body spray before leaving the house. But these are not two great tastes that taste great together.
A sandwich is just a sandwich, so quit trying so hard to make it a penis.
UPDATE: Hardee's ups the ante with a "Name Our Holes" campaign.







Weirdly, this ad is not from Crispin. Perhaps that's why it's got such a low-rent feel to it.
--Ken Wheaton
Hold the pickle.
BK doesn't need buzz from controversial ads -- is someone going to argue that tactic actually sells sandwiches? They aren't some niche brand no one's ever heard of.
people approach the "easy girl, sitting at the bar" for a reason. there will always be those who prefer one night stands over marriage, but which individual will be more loyal, in the long run?
You might be reaching a bit for the $5 footlong phallic reference. Thing is most penises (to be pc) are no where near a foot long, even in porn. Seven inches is kind of the magic number, which is why this ad uses the "super seven incher" reference. Not to mention the obvious blow reference. I think Subway has done a very good job with avoiding the phallic backlash with the $5 footlong ads, by keeping the copy far away from any sexual innuendo.
I totally agree. Anyone lustfully tempted by this type of advertising cannot and will not be a loyal customer. They will probably be the type to use a brand or product one day, and just move on to another. Wouldn't it be ideal if, as consumers, we made our brand choices and faithfully adhered to them? Til death do us part? I, for one, believe it unnecessary to court such brand adulterers and am glad someone has spoken out against this! Unfortunately some would say it's ridiculous to compare consumer behavior and advertising with courtship behavior and marriage...
I personally think that advertising can successfully, and pretty accurately, be compared to dating/courtship behavior.
The conversation between brands and customers is similar and familiar...
The brand starts off in the "single" relationship status. The brand notices a customer, tries to get her attention, and asks her on a date. On that first date, the customer and brand get to know each other, all while the brand tries to impress the customer. If all goes well, the brand and customer become "official."
(Otherwise, it ends there. Think Snuggie.)
After a few amazing dates, the brand hints to the customer that it is ready to answer the question, "Will you marry me?"
When the customer finally pops that question, the brand ecstatically and joyfully says yes, and the relationship becomes one that is forever faithful. Think apple.
(Otherwise, the customer breaks up with the brand, and the brand tries to find someone else, or goes into a deep depression.)
My e-high five didn't show up in my previous post. Here it is **high five**
I believe, especially in this economy, the consumer must maintain a "what have you done for me lately?" attitude. No matter how amazing that first date was, a brand/product has to be judged on your most recent rendezvous. So you've been with McDonald's for years now? If a good looking Carl's Jr. catches your eye, I believe the consumer can give them a shot, no strings attached, without facing judgment. That is the job of advertising, to catch the ever-curious eye of the consumer, which these campaigns do.
Furthermore, as long as we're all adults, a one time Snuggie never hurt anyone. But, this is coming from a guy who uses an iPhone, yet can't commit to a Mac computer.
Loving the string of comments on this article. :)
The problem for the brands in this fast food echo chamber is that you can't tell one disgusting fast food ad from another.
Check it out here: http://conversationalcapital.com/category/authors_posts/
http://adage.com/globalnews/article?article_id=137801