Sex. You can eat popcorn during The Bourne Ultimatum.
What will Harry Potter do now that his last book has been written?
Grow up and try to magically get health coverage.
Pfizer just invented Viagra for dogs. What should they call it?
Uppy Puppy or Canine Inches.
What's the most preposterous rock tour corporate sponsor and what's the name of the tour?
What can be done to sex up Ralph Nader's image?
A solar-paneled thong.
Name the first Ann Coulter signature sex toy.
Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports stadium.
The Splenda Dome.
There's actually a packaged good on the supermarket shelf called hot nuts. Give this product a more politically correct name.
There's actually a jazz club in New York called Dizzy's Club Coca-Cola. Create an even worse name for a jazz club.
Dizzy's Club Diet Vanilla Coca-Cola.
What do they call Donald Trump in Japan?
The Great White Combover.
What did you do to honor the passing of Leona Helmsley?
We were mean to a hotel hand towel.
What can Steve Jobs do to top the iPhone?
What's the single most important way the late Bob Denver of Gilligan's island changed your life?
He gave us comfort knowing we were smarter than at least one person on the planet.
If you decided to kill all the Keebler elves, how would you do it?
Dutch Elm disease.