the kafka questionnaire

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Would you stand on line for eight hours to see a George Lucas movie?

I wouldn't stand on line for eight hours to be in a George Lucas movie.

Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports stadium.

The Tang Dome.

What's the worst package design of all time?

The condom wrapper. Don't they realize the time constraints?

What's the nastiest thing you ever said to a client?

"Of course I can do that. A trained monkey can do that."

Should fat kids be allowed to sue their parents?

Hey, anything that gets them off their asses and out of the house.

Now that there's an R&B star named Nivea, who's the next singer named after a product and what's the title of the first hit?

Levitra: "Like a Rock."

What's the title of the next movie to be inspired by a theme park ride, and who will direct?

The Ferris Buehler Wheel: A Rob Reiner film.

What is Wendy's Dave Thomas doing in heaven?

Wishing he'd come up with lowfat salads a lot sooner.

What kind of sheets will Martha Stewart be sleeping on in jail?

Rubberized.

What's the tag for Uncle Ben's Condoleezza Rice?

"A subsidiary of Uncle Tom's."

Abu Ghraib girl Lynndie England: What's her first product endorsement?

Oh, she's a Versace girl.

What will New York's Mayor Bloomberg ban next?

Biting your fingernails.

Would you drive cross-country with Billy Joel?

Please, he doesn't let any women over 30 in his car.

Is there a worse name than Apple for Gwyneth Paltrow's kid?

Kumquat.

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