The Kafka Questionnaire

Published on .

Charlie Hopper

VP-Creative Director Young & Laramore,

Indianapolis

Are there any gay Clydesdales?

Not sure. They have a "Don't ask, don't tell Wilbur" policy.

Is the Pillsbury Doughboy really a boy?

Yes, and he has all the natural urges of a doughboy his age.

How do you tell the Olsen twins apart?

Mary-Kate's got the sleeker, healthier coat.

Gwen Stefani will run for president in 2008; what's her campaign slogan?

"Two chickens in every sexpot."

What's left for poor Kate Moss to endorse?

Nasonex.

What are you allowed to eat on the Arnold Schwarzenegger diet?

Anyone standing between you and the presidency.

Pfizer just invented Viagra for dogs. What should they call it?

Vilegra. Or, alternatively, Spot-on.

What's the single most important way the late Bob Denver of Gilligan's Island changed your life?

Now I know to grab my hat when the boss starts hitting me on the head.

What does that BK King guy look like under his mask?

Father Ronald's hair, mother Wendy's freckles.

What would Fiona Apple be called if she were an Apple product?

iFona.

How is a container of Pringles like the human condition?

Procter & Gamble is making money off of it.

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