The Kafka Questionnaire

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What's the next thing that needs to be microwaveable?

Toast. I think we're all tired of waiting for toast.

Would you stand on line for eight hours to see a George Lucas movie?

Yes, if my costume was made with breathable fabrics.

Why does every radio ad end with 20 seconds of speed-blabbered fine print?

If you drive fast, it sounds perfectly normal.

What product are you waiting to see on a 30-minute infomercial?

The microwave toaster.

What's next for the Coors Twins?

A bitter feud where one claims that she's been carrying the other one.

Should Michael Jordan be cloned?

Didn't Gatorade do that?

Should fat kids be allowed to sue their parents?

Yeah, and then blow it all on candy.

What would you wear while working with Betty Crocker Supermoist German Cake Mix?

Like any Betty Crocker Supermoist German Cake Mix fan, I'd wear my official Betty Crocker Supermoist German Cake Mix team jersey from Footlocker.

What's the female equivalent of Mountain Dew?

Massengill's Dew.

What kind of guy buys a Hummer?

The car?

Create a new tourism slogan for Chicago.

"Chicagoaway!"

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