The roll of the dice
Call him the tax-and-castrate candidate. Former marketing man Ken Jarvis lost his bid for a seat on the Las Vegas district assembly. Readers of this column will recall that Jarvis ran his campaign entirely on the Internet, spent only a few dollars and yet won the Republican primary. His platform: tax advertising and castrate sexual offenders. A day before the election, Adages joined the hopeful candidate and his campaign manager, Joy Jarvis, his wife, at a buffet at the New Orleans casino off the Strip. "We've been here 12 years," said the candidate, whose last marketing job was at Mennen. "And we've eaten out every day." Ken and his wife are Vegas buffet hounds and know the best chow bargains in town. "You can't cook this stuff at home," said Joy, staring at a pile of seafood and pasta on her plate. "It would cost too much." Election night, after the polls closed and it was clear he had won only 37% of the vote, the candidate still had some fight in him. "We're forming the Internet Political Party," he said at campaign headquarters, his double-wide trailer home on East Flamingo Rd. "We're calling ourselves Ippys." A key party platform is to abolish state legislatures and institute direct, Internet voting on bills. "And we'll keep pushing an ad tax," said Ken. "If there's one thing we have too much of it's advertising. Just 5% less advertising would raise $80 billion for states, and no one would be hurt by it. This would be the most painless tax."
Martha in Sing Sing
Lee Lynch, CEO and managing partner of Minneapolis shop Carmichael Lynch, recently witnessed a poignant moment of art imitating life. Mr. Lynch, who has a sideline operation managing a handful of Broadway theaters, recently sat next to Martha Stewart during a performance of the musical "Hairspray." Apparently, Martha was looking for a light-hearted escape from her legal woes. She seemed to enjoy the production, according to Mr. Lynch, who traded small talk with her. And then a lavish production number set in jail commenced. "Martha was motionless," Mr. Lynch said. "It ruined her evening."
S.C. Johnson & Son loves "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Why? Father-of-the-bride Gus touts Windex as a treatment for baldness, cuts, warts and acne among other ills. SCJ doesn't, of course, endorse off-label uses. But it did approve the script. Now, a spokeswoman says SCJ is in talks over marketing tie-ins with the upcoming DVD/video release and possible sitcom spinoff on Viacom's CBS. Presumably, Mr. Clean, marketed by Procter & Gamble, which has its own $350 million media and product-integration deal with Viacom, won't break up the marriage.
Contributing Jon Fine, Kate MacArthur and Jack Neff Email Ippys at: firstname.lastname@example.org Otherwise, try Adages at: email@example.com