Ken says, "I talked to John Walsh's office this morning. The `America's Most Wanted' guy. I am trying to get him to endorse the idea."
Zipper, the pinhead
Last week, Zipatoni Co., a St. Louis-based promotion agency, announced that its office will close at 3 p.m. on Sept. 11 so that employees can attend a company-hosted patriotic rally. "The afternoon rally will consist of an employee rendition of `God Bless America' and then the company will close early and each employee will receive a $50 bill to spend." Chief Operating Officer Norty Cohen said: "Zipatoni employees, or Zippers as we call them, are so dedicated that they typically work twice as hard as most people, so by 3 p.m. that day we'll have done more work than most other companies." Adages suggests the big Zipper at Zipatoni keep it zipped.
Follow the leader
Larry Postaer, creative chief at Rubin & Postaer, is kvetching over new Audi A4 Cabriolet print ads from McKinney & Silver that spoof the car's owner's manual. He calls them "an exact replica in every way" of his shop's 1998 ads for Honda's CR-V sport utility. "I've never seen [an ad]so blatantly knocked off." And Audi's new brand tag is "Never Follow." A McKinney spokeswoman says the agency wasn't aware of the old Honda ads. Hey, Larry: Loosen up! This stuff is not only in the air, it's in the glove compartment. Crispin Porter Bogusky's campaign for the BMW Mini actually published a parody manual. A sample road rule from the Mini mag: "Car doors should not be used as privacy screens for people over 6 feet tall."
The good news last week: McDonald's is dropping the "bad fat" in its fries and substituting it with "good fat." The fast feeder's advertising, however, still targets its most-prized customers, the feeders who like to go to burger joints three or four times a week. In marketing parlance, these frequent feeders are called "heavy users," which surprisingly, for marketing jargon, paints an accurate picture. "The term heavy user has nothing to do with weight," counters a spokeswoman at another food chain, Pizza Hut. "It's a research term that is used to segment the business and help define behavior. " Yeah, right.
Contributing: Jean Halliday and Kate MacArthur E-mail your ballots to firstname.lastname@example.org