When Cocaine Just Isn't Enough

By Published on .

San Francisco saw the opening of Meth Coffee this week. Their handle? Super-caffeinated coffee.

Per the press release: "Meth's super-caffeinated beans are amplified by the addition of yerba mate, a powerful natural stimulant and antioxidant used by shamans of the Amazon for boosting stamina and mental clarity. Boasting an intense buzz and cocoa-tobacco finish, Meth Coffee is fresh-roasted within 48 hours of shipment to jumpstart workaholics, thrill seekers, artists, and subversives seeking an exciting new fuel for their endeavors."

My uncle does Chinese herbs. I've often described the concoctions he gives me as a smooth blend of dirty cigarette tar water. Next time I go to him, I'm going to ask for a "cocoa-tobacco finish" instead. Then we'll call it Adderall Water and make a million bucks.
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