Hardee's Ups Ante in Fast-Food Smutfest

Announces 'Name Our Holes' Campaign

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Didn't I tell you yesterday that Carl's Jr./Hardee's wasn't going to be outdone when it comes to using sexual innuendo to move product? Didn't I? Well, get a load of Hardee's latest effort. It's called "Name Our Holes." And if you think I'm just projecting my own perversions onto a harmless little bit of biscuit dough, check out the teaser campaign from ad agency Mendelsohn Zien Advertising, Los Angeles.

This raises a few questions, among them: Have they no shame? Since when do biscuits have holes? Could they get any more testicle jokes into that spot? Speaking of bad genitalia jokes, why do people in the teaser spot seem to be confusing genders -- aren't they supposed to be naming holes?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go take a shower. Oh, and if you want to know what Biscuit Hole is, keep reading.

A Biscuit Hole is a bit of biscuit dough "rolled in cinnamon and sugar and served with icing for dipping." In a press release, Brad Haley, Hardee's exec VP of marketing, said, "They really are irresistible, and it's almost impossible to eat just one." (Must. Not. Comment.) He added: "But what to call them was a big challenge. One of my favorite options was 'Biznuts,' a cross between 'biscuits' and 'donuts,' since the closest thing to them are doughnut holes." (And, presumably, because "Docuits" doesn't include the word "nuts.") He continued: "But there were many other suggestions that were very funny. Unfortunately, I can't repeat them here." (So they'll allow people on the street to do it. Hands are clean!)

Think you can come up with better names than "goody balls" or "ball munchers" or "tasty nuts" or "iced b-holes"? Well, go on over to NameOurHoles.com and cover yourself in shame.