Best Job in Marketing: Apple PR

You Don't Even Have to Answer the Phone!

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As Advertising Age prepares for its first Talentworks Career Guide (Sept. 24), perhaps it's time to guide job seekers to the best job in marketing.

But just what is the best job in marketing? Sure, a CMO gig undoubtedly pays well and sometimes imparts feelings of power, particularly on photo shoots with celebrities. But that job has more stress than air-traffic control, and a shorter career expectancy.

When all is said and done, the best jobs in marketing likely are way down the totem. Specifically, I'm thinking of the public relations posts at Apple Computer. And not just because the media seems to fawn over everything Steve Jobs produces. Just look at the coverage of the iPhone. Heck, that caused a New York Times reporter (Yeah, you, David Pogue) to sing and dance in a video. Can't beat that!

But that's not the main reason it's easy. It's a cushy job because as a public relations person at Apple, you don't have to deal with the media at all. While it's no scientific measure, if you Google "Apple did not return calls," you'll come up with 2.35 million hits.

The job -- as I see it from the point of view of one of those reporters who's had to write that line a few times -- is simply to sit at a desk. Or don't sit at a desk! Because it's easy enough to say you're at a meeting. Not that it matters really, because you're not expected to answer the phone.

No risk of carpal tunnel, either, because answering e-mail is optional too! Those few times you do have to involve yourself with a reporter? Well it's time for mental fun and games. Figure out ways to chew up their time without really being helpful. Things you can ask and/or demand: What is your story about? Can you write out all the questions you might possibly want to ask? Give us all of your information. Yes. All of it. And, by the way, we may or may not respond to let you know we don't have a comment.

After that's done, you can then go out to lunch, to the spa, or just plunk down in front of the TV at home. It probably pays pretty well, too. And you get a free iPhone. Now that must be the best job in marketing.

But I could be wrong. So you tell me what the best job in marketing is.