The Onion: Pepsi to Cease Advertising

Not in Business of Telling People What to Drink

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Dear Onion, we appreciate your funny story about Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi canceling all advertising, but let's not give anyone any bright ideas! "Concluding the press conference, Nooyi stated that she wasn't even sure why she was talking about any of this in the first place, asked the assembled reporters whether they didn't have better uses for their time, and suggested that everybody just go home, hug their loving spouses, and play—really, truly play—with their children before life passes them by."