Telemarketers Tarry Where Al Qaeda Can't

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We all love, love, love telemarketers. That's why we ran, did not pass go and did not collect $200 on our way to the National Do Not Call Registry to slap down every phone number remotely related to us.

While it's only a rumor that telemarketers may soon be able to automatically dial cellphone numbers, it's not hard to believe when they've already tapped into secret Homeland Security hotlines.

Jennifer Brooks of Delaware's News Journal writes that Delaware Gov. Ruth Ann Minner finds her hotline rings with occasional "offers of time share condominiums and great deals on long distance." The lines are only supposed to ring in the event of a national catastrophe.

"So what's a governor to do?" asks Brooks. "According to Minner's office, the Department of Homeland Security placed all the hot line numbers on the federal government's Do Not Call Registry, which is supposed to ward off telemarketers."

So there you have it. Telemarketers are a national catastrophe.