Item No. 1
"DENVER, Aug. 27 /PRNewswire/ -- Union Springs Pharmaceuticals, LLC, announced today that the Denver Police Department has ordered 1,000 MyClyns units in anticipation of the gathering of tens of thousands of people during the Democratic National Convention being held August 25th through the 28th. MyClyns contains a fast-acting solution with germ-killing action that can be safely sprayed directly into eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and open wounds."
OK. That almost sounds a little scary ... and though I hope I'm never sprayed in the face with a container full of Hep-C or beriberi, I might want some MyClyns on hands.
Item No. 2
"Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton dazzled a capacity crowd at last evening's Democratic National Convention by accenting her stylish orange pantsuit with Marco Bicego's exquisite three-strand Paradise necklace. Handcrafted in 18 carat yellow gold, the necklace features a range of colorful semi-precious stones, including citrine, amethyst and blue topaz."
She also dazzled by not letting loose a Howard Dean-like scream before declaring the nomination was hers and they'd have to force it from her cold, dead hands.