Per The Washington Post's bombshell report today about a conversation the elder Trump had with Billy Bush in 2005 -- it was caught and preserved for posterity (and October 2016) thanks to a hot mic -- The Donald thinks that Tic Tacs come in handy in certain incredibly gross, disturbing situations. Like when Donald Trump spots an actress in the distance -- in this case, Arianne Zucker of "Days of Our Lives" fame -- and decides he's entitled to force himself on her:
"I've got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her," Trump told Bush. "You know, I'm automatically attracted to beautiful -- I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. ... Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."
While we all ponder how Donald Trump thinks of Tic Tacs as an enabling device akin to how Bill Cosby thinks of Quaaludes, let's turn to Twitter, where the sudden and unfortunate Trump-induced notoriety of the tiny breath mints are being discussed:
Meanwhile, at Tic Tac HQ:— Chris Holm (@chrisfholm) October 7, 2016
"Guys! It's finally happened! We're trending!"
"Hang on; I'll click through. OH, SON OF A..."
Spare some thoughts for whatever poor, overwhelmed soul runs @tictac— Sean O'Neal (@seanoneal) October 7, 2016
Interviewer: "Mr. Trump, what do your policies do for women?"— Tanis Howler (@TanisFowler) October 7, 2016
Trump: *pops Tic-Tac lid*
.@realDonaldTrump how are you able to hold a whole Tic Tac box in one of your microscopic hands— Super Deluxe (@superdeluxe) October 7, 2016
I'd pay good $$ for Hillary to offer Donald a tic tac Sunday. https://t.co/QVf79e1cVT— Michelle Cottle (@mcottle) October 7, 2016
I don't think I'll ever be able to eat a Tic Tac again. Kind of feel bad for the Tic Tac people.— Eliana Johnson (@elianayjohnson) October 7, 2016
Tic Tac headquarters def getting a sympathy card from Skittles tomorrow— Daniel Radosh (@danielradosh) October 7, 2016
This all ends with a Trump Tic Tac endorsement deal, doesn't it?— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) October 7, 2016
Advertising Age has reached out to a spokesperson for Tic Tacs. We'll let you know if we hear back.
UPDATE (Oct. 8): Tic Tac has issued a response on Twitter:
Tic Tac respects all women. We find the recent statements and behavior completely inappropriate and unacceptable.— Tic Tac USA (@TicTacUSA) October 8, 2016
Simon Dumenco, aka Media Guy, is an Ad Age editor-at-large. You can follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.