In Touch features an exclusive on Aniston's curvier new look. No, it's not her tummy but Aniston's chest that seems to be expanding. Offering the opinions of two plastic surgeons who, of course, haven't treated the star, and a before-and-after analysis, the magazine surmises that Aniston may have had some work done, and further scrutinizes friend Courtney Cox for touch ups as well.
As for the star's relationship status, In Touch reports that Aniston and Vaughn are on shaky ground. Other magazines are more definitive -- Us Weekly "reveals" why Vaughn backed out of the relationship and how she's coping. With Aniston now single, eligible bachelors the world over are considered for the star (Matthew McConaughey is a favorite), even ineligible ones. In particular, Brad Pitt is alleged to be pining for his ex-wife. Life & Style leads with this insight, claiming that Angelina Jolie fears losing Pitt to Aniston and is threatened by her recent return to singlehood, Pitt's phone calls to her and that his family continues to keep in touch with her. Star further reports that Pitt is still in love with Aniston and that's why he hasn't married Jolie yet. Yeah, we're sure that's the reason.
Following the familiar formula of build 'em up and tear 'em down, Jessica Simpson, we're told, is on the way down. Weak record sales, publicity mishaps and being single (of all things) has made the pop star one lonely mess. Life & Style reports further drama between her and ex-hubby Nick Lachey, with the latter's recent love interest, Vanessa Minnillo, getting a bit peeved at Simpson's neediness. Meanwhile Star provides a photo-montage of Simpson's downward spiral and lists the many reasons for her to be depressed. Ouch. That whole fake "I'm in Love" with singer John Mayer debacle, even if it was a fired publicist's fault, must still be paid for.
Meanwhile, the tabloids spin the wheel on their coverage of celebrity body shapes. As their glossy covers constantly rotate with headlines screaming someone is too thin or too heavy or just right, we are entering the last category, with Star dishing on which just-right figure is due to diet pills vs. diets, while Life & Style surveys recent weight-loss successes from Oprah and Katie Holmes. The new mom has officially shed her baby weight, unless, of course, you're reading In Touch, where the star is suspected of sporting a baby bump.
We only wish we were kidding.