People, continuing to ride its scoop on the â€śAngelina Jolie is pregnant and we have the photos!â€ť story from last week, splashes its cover with a full up-close shot of the bump, with protective dad Brad Pitt with his arm around Angie. That means Golden Globe gowns were sidelined to a narrow pic in the upper right. Us Weekly uses the same Pitt and Jolie bump shot, but as a small inset over a shocked Jennifer Aniston, to support its â€śHOW JEN FOUND OUT, Bradâ€™s Final Insultâ€ť headline. American Media's Celebrity Living also opted for a Jen cover, telling us â€śJenâ€™s plan to CRASH BRADâ€™S WEDDING!â€ť This is where we also learn about why, insiders say, â€śKATIEâ€™S JEALOUS OVER NICOLE,â€ť which, for you uninitiated, translates into Katie Holmes, seven months pregnant with Tom Cruiseâ€™s baby, feels upset that his ex-wife, Nicole Kidman, is still so skinny and gorgeous. Bauer's In Touch, meanwhile, checks in on the former "Newlyweds" Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, now split up, to let us know how â€śNICKâ€™S MAKING JESSICA JEALOUS,â€ť which leads them to ask: â€śNow Will She Stop the Divorce?â€ť
American Mediaâ€™s Star, however, is less concerned with jealousy this week (although it does take the time to tell us â€śHumiliated Jen Proposes to Vinceâ€ť) and focuses on breaking news: â€śPregnant Angelina COLLAPSES!â€ť For the Star, the Golden Globes coverage is billed in the lower right hand corner triangle as â€śTHE BEST & WORST DRESSED.â€ť This neatly allows jealous readers to enjoy a frisson of schadenfreude over frumpily dressed celebs. And so wraps up another chapter on Hollywoodâ€™s alternate reality. Tune in next week.