While not exactly a tale worthy of Hawthorne, Us Weekly does its best to lay out Timberlake's "romance revenge" against Diaz. Johansson, the tabloid charges, is Diaz's "worst enemy." By starring in the 2004 film "Lost in Translation" (where a ditsy blond character is rumored to be a poke at Diaz), as well as dating her former flame, actor Jared Leto, Johansson is apparently tops on Diaz's nemesis list. Being cast in Timberlake's new video didn't help matters, either. Timberlake and Johansson are now in the beginning stages of a relationship, the Wenner weekly asserts.
Bauer's Life & Style and In Touch also excitedly report on the hot new romance, as well as the strife between Diaz and Johansson, while Star goes against the grain and peers into another suspected hookup, this one between Timberlake and Kate Hudson. The magazine declares that the new bachelor is on a "blond binge" after ringing in the New Year at Hudson's home and now being linked with Johansson. As for another blonde in Timberlake's life -- former girlfriend Britney Spears -- Star reports that he would love to make another go of it, but first she needs to get some help. (Here's hoping that help advises her to steer clear of revenge romances.)
Spears, for her part, has of late been seen with a new guy who, People observes, bears a striking resemblance to her estranged husband. The tabloid favorite was spotted boating around Marina del Rey with a man identified as Isaac Cohen, a model/actor. His groomed stubble and low-rise jeans forced the magazine do a double take, checking to make sure it was not indeed her ex, Kevin Federline.
In its obligatory Britney update, Us Weekly capitalizes on the photo of a puffy-faced Spears, asking what exactly went wrong there, as the star's mug appears to be the victim of excessive partying and missed beauty sleep. Watercooler is sympathetic given our tabloid bedtime-reading habits. Maybe we should give Hawthorne a try.