You're reading this on the last day of February (or later). You know what that means? You've somehow survived one-sixth of 2017. I don't know how you did it! How we did it. Pat yourself on the back ...
1. What the hell is going on?! And what the hell just happened?! In a post that currently sits atop newyorker.com's "most popular" chart, Adam Gopnik has a theory: "Did the Oscars Just Prove That We Are Living in a Computer Simulation?" (Spoiler: Yeah, you're probably a clueless extra in some version of "The Matrix.")
2. Speaking of alternate realities and things that are most popular, from time to time I like to point out what's trending on Breitbart.com, the widely condemned far-right news site (see: "More Than 800 Advertisers Say They Won't Support Breitbart News") that's a White House favorite. As of this morning, Breitbart's top story is "Exclusive -- President Trump: New York Times 'Intent Is So Evil and So Bad,' 'They Write Lies.'" Breitbart News got an Oval Office interview with Trump -- but it seems like sort of a stretch to call Trump's latest variation on his well-practiced media-bashing an "exclusive."
3. In other Oval Office news, there are photos going around that you really have to see if you haven't seen them already. See them here: "Kellyanne Conway puts feet on Oval Office couch; Twitter freaks."
4. Oh, wait, not only is there another photo you really have to see, but it appears in another most popular post (currently No. 3) on Breitbart. It's the second image in Breitbart's (possibly NSFW) post titled "PHOTOS: German Carnival Floats Depict Decapitated Trump, Hitler Comparisons." Before you click, maybe read this Breitbart caption so you know what you're getting into: "In Dusseldorf, President Trump was shown performing a sex act on the statue of liberty, a criticism by the satirist that he was 'screwing liberty' because of his travel ban against countries known to either sponsor terrorism or harbour large radical Islamic extremist elements."
5. Circling back to the No. 1 item above, in the interest of fairness and balance I want to point out that Jimmy Kimmel differs somewhat with Adam Gopnik re: the Oscars. Via ABC's "Jimmy Kimmel Live" last night:
6. Last night on CBS's "Late Show," Jon Stewart climbed up from under Stephen Colbert's desk (turns out Stewart has a tunnel that leads directly from his farm to Colbert's stage) to deliver some heartfelt advice to the embattled media, still reeling from what he calls its breakup with Donald Trump:
7. Speaking of TV, guess what's on tonight. If your answer was "a new episode of 'The Apprentice,'" well, you're almost right. In a post titled "President Trump's big speech," The Week's Michael Brendan Dougherty previews Trump's address to Congress:
The president is reportedly interested in using the speech to kick off a series of policy proposals that cross normal political lines. He wants an infrastructure-spending project to win over Democrats as well as a big tax reform package that Republicans can support. A list of talking points says that he wants to pitch his new ideas for maternity leave, an issue on which his daughter Ivanka has acted as a surrogate. But will Congress be willing or able to act on any of it?"
Here's hoping Trump live-tweets his own speech.
Simon Dumenco, aka Media Guy, is an Ad Age editor-at-large. You can follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.