The Kafka Questionnaire

Published on .

Michael Silvia, Creative Director

Duffy & Shanley, Providence, R.I.

Has Casual Friday become too casual?

Yes, but we make up for it with Formal Saturday and Satin Brocade Vestments Sunday.

Why does Citibank think money doesn't matter?

Because they already have my mortgage.

What's your favorite type of "guerrilla" advertising?

The type that gets an intern arrested.

What's the next thing that needs to be microwaveable?

Super Bowl halftime shows.

What kind of foods would be in an HDTV dinner?

Really, really sharp cheese?

Has the '70s funk revival gone too far?

Last week, a very white friend referred to me as M-dogg. So, yeah.

How is a container of Pringles like the human condition?

Homogenization. And mustaches are in again.

What would Vin Diesel's name be if he were a girl?

Whatever she'd want it to be.

What's the worst package design of all time?

You realize you're asking someone who used to use the tube the tampon comes in as a little telescope?

What's the nastiest thing you ever said to a client?

"Fuck you. No offense." Actually, the client said it.

Is the internet everything you were hoping it would be?

I couldn't tell you. Carol, my studio manager, blocks all the porn.

You're pitching the Hanes Edible Panties account: What's your tagline?

My home phone number.

How many Bush cabinet members can fit in a Mini?

All of them. Then let's motor over a cliff.

What product are you waiting to see on a 30-minute infomercial?

A 15-minute infomercial.

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