ON THE BALL; CORPORATE ESPIONAGE

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Contest #440: Uhh! Arggh! Uhh! Arggh! Uhh! Arghh! Uhhhh! Argggggh! Uhhhhhh! Arggggggh! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Arrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhh! Clapclapclapclapclapclap! That, lest you accuse us of onomatopoeia porn, is the sound coming from the U.S. Open in New York-the tennis tournament, not the golf tournament. Not that you couldn't tell the two sports apart, since both are so boring. We hear Chiat/Day is doing some image work for the sport, but it needs more. T.N.T.ers: come up with the next advertising/marketing campaign to juice up tennis.

And now the results of Contest #436: We asked you for the next corruption of a corporate logo and how it could be marketed and you mangled these monickers:

First Prize: McDonald's is turned into MaDonna's. "Billions have been served. What you want is what you get." Super value meals feature a special premium: a replica of the headboard found in Madonna's bedroom. Solid oak construction, genuine brass "Golden Arches." Order now and receive a Ronald McDonald costume customized to fit your mate. Mark Allan Ludwig, president, M.A.L. Enterprises, St. Louis Park, Minn.

Second Prize: DKKKNY. Donna Karan presents upscale fashion for the white supremacist. Baseball caps and T-shirts that street vendors don't dare knock off. Sold mainly in Southern states and through Denny's Restaurants nationally. Shawn Peacock, copywriter, Grey Advertising, New York.

Third Prize: The Levi's logo will be mocked on T-shirts, with the front reading Elvis and the back reading Lives. Both words would be ensconced in the familiar red emblem. Sean West, account associate, Robert Marston Corporate Communications, New York.

Honorable Intention:

The Holiday Inn logo will be corrupted into "Hillary Inn," with the logo superimposed over a picture of the White House. Robert Snyder, advertising executive, Allied Administrators, Kansas City, Mo.

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