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And Other Current TV Commercials of Note

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Bob Dylan's Sex Gear Ad
Marketer: Victoria's Secret
Brand: Victoria's Secret
Title: "Angels With Dylan"
Agency: In-house
If one needed proof that the Woodstock generation has thrown in the towel, grabbed the money and ran, it is this: Bob Dylan's new Victoria's Secret ad. Looking more like a furtive bus station lecher than a music legend, he leers at a very young female cavorting through a deserted Venetian palace in panties, bra, costume wings and his cowboy hat. What a sad and tawdry spectacle Dylan makes as sex gear huckster.

Totally Phony TV Ad
Marketer: Focus Features
Brand: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
Title: "Lacuna"
Production: Anonymous Content
Like the 'Blair Witch Project,' the new 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind' uses fictional reality promotion. The movie's Lacuna memory erasure clinic has its own Web site featuring its own TV commercial. All is presented as if the Lacuna clinic is absolutely real ('Lacuna' is a medical term for cavity, gap or empty space.) The film stars Jim Carrey and 'Titanic' star Kate Winslet, both of whom get memory erasures of a love affair gone bad.

The Fly
Marketer: Volkswagen of America
Brand: Passat
Title: "The Fly"
Agency: Creative on Demand, Miami
This Hispanic market spot doesn't make much sense unless you understand the Spanish admonition: "Close your mouth, or a fly might fly in." And, in this commercial, one does that very thing to a car buyer whose jaw has been dropped by the unexpected low price of a new Volkswagen Passat.

A Really Bad Toupee
Marketer: PepsiCo
Brand: Mountain Dew
Title: "Seagal"
Agency: BBDO, New York
The most serious issue raised by this spot is this: Why would anyone with as much money as Steven Seagal wear such a cheap and tacky toupee? The action movie hero walks in on a convenience store holdup but is so intent on buying a Mountain Dew he is oblivious to the unfolding crime. A series of mishaps follows him around the store knocking out the robbers as well as the proprietor. Talk about a bad hair day.

Kiss These Buns
Marketer: Burger King
Brand: Burger King
Title: "Buns"
Agency: Crispin, Porter & Bogusky, Miami

In Burger King's latest 'Have It Your Way' spot, a dour boss and his suck-up underling has an unsatisfying sandwich encounter. This spot received the highest consumer recall score for the period of March 15-28 in the bi-weekly Intermedia Advertising Group survey.

Berserk Curves
Marketer: Volkswagen
Brand: Getta GL
Title: "Curves"
Agency: Arnold Worldwide
We've all met someone like this freaked out, over-adrenalined driver but most of us have had the good sense to end the encounter as quickly as possible. Watch the shock and discomfort of a Volkswagen salesman trapped with the berserker in a car traveling at high speed. Creepy.

Taco Bell Cheat
Marketer: Taco Bell
Brand: Fiesta Taco Salad
Title: "Two Timer"
Agency: Foote Cone & Belding, San Francisco
Here's a healthier twist on the old wife-confronts-two-timing-husband theme. Outraged when she finds evidence that her husband has been ignoring the brown-bagged lunch meat sandwiches she prepares each day, our heroine barges into hubby's office to catch him in the act of wolfing down a low-fat Fiesta Taco Salad. Men are such pigs, aren't they?

Beer Drinking Toeflexer
Marketer: Anheuser-Busch
Brand: Bud Light
Title: "Toeflex"
Agency: Downtown Partners
A straight-faced report from the Bud Light Institute details the benefits of the new ToeFlex, an exerciser that enables drinkers to burn off the ridiculously low carbs found in a Bud Light.

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