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Here's what puzzles me: where do the Iraqis get all those American flags they're forever burning? Is there a Baghdad flag factory that turns them out just for burning? Are they illegally imported despite the boycott?

Bill Parcells' radio spots for Cadillac are idiotic. First of all, he's wooden as a copy reader. Second, how can you have a tailgate party from a Caddy?

Rolling Stone turning 30? Yes, indeed. And ABC will run a two-hour special during the May sweeps to celebrate.

Editor Susan Ungaro and the folks at Family Circle were delighted with that A&E bio of designer Calvin Klein. Especially the part where he said he knew he'd made it in fashion and could quit the grocery store when Family Circle ran the first editorial credit his clothes ever got.

New York PR ace Lou Hammond nailed as a new client the big Palm Springs resort, La Quinta, where they're launching a new spa.

Thursday evening at Rizzoli, the Manhattan book store, editors Karon Cullen and Stephanie Platt launch their brand new magazine of the Ritz-Carlton hotel group. Richard Purscell, an experienced custom publisher, is the magazine's publisher.

Cindy J. Still joined Times Mirror Magazines as VP-consumer marketing director.

Matthew Tucker takes on a newly created post at Reed Elsevier's Entertainment, Communications and Media division. He'll be director of Internet sales and marketing.

Chanel has a new VP-R&D. He's Dr. Thomas Schultz who'd been with Cosmair.

Dan Schwartz is new publishing director of Windows, the CMP Media title for technology buyers. Dan began as a CMP sales rep 19 years ago.

Susannah Pask's Bridal Guide had a good year, with circ up and with two of last year's issues, July/August and November/December, the biggest in ad pages in their ten-year history.

Two hires at Travel & Leisure Golf mag. William G. Ridenour becomes associate publisher and Steven Nazaruk marketing director. Dan Brewster's the boss and former Time Inc.-er Jim Gaines is editor.

Snow Country has a new editor, Perkins Miller.

Carl Portale checks in to gloat: "My first full year at Harper's Bazaar ('93) we had 1,574 ad pages. Elle that year had 1,376. Fast forward to 1997; Harper's Bazaar lost 42 pages in the time span and Elle has gained 893." Did I mention Mr. Portale is group publisher for Elle?

Kratz & Co., of New York, now handles media relations for Elle Decor.

Spin named Haidee Findlay-Levin to the new post of edit fashion director. New editor Michael Hirschorn says her work is "remarkable." She also has an accent on her first name but I can't find accents on my keyboard. Sorry.

Michael Clinton's Hearst Group named Katy Barr exec director of marketing.

Edelman Worldwide named a new VP-consumer marketing in San Francisco. She's Judith S. Jorgensen.

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