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"Sell Stock Now!" shouts the cover of Money. I outsmarted 'em; sold out when the Dow hit 7,000. Market doesn't catch me napping.

Incidentally, Patricia Straus, who does PR for Money, says its annual subscription price is a lot higher than 30 bucks. So there!

Publisher Lisa Henriques informs me through August Conde Nast Traveler is up 13% in ad pages over the period a year back. That's an 88-page gain to 781. She says this'll be their biggest year in the decade CNT has been around.

Also preening, Sean Flanagan of Men's Health. Just before he was off for flyfishing in New Brunswick, Canada, Sean got out the old slide rule and calculated Men's Health's first half was up 20% in ad pages over the same period in '96 and the September book will be "our best issue ever."

"Irabu spits at fans!" "Whiten Arrested!" That Steinbrenner can pick 'em, can't he? Regular ol' Knute Rockne, he is.

New York Media Roundtable hosted by Hearst Corp.'s John Mack Carter has a good one lined up for August, New York Mayor Giuliani. Ed Koch was the guest in July.

Chanel promoted Christy Roider to assistant manager-fragrance marketing.

Islands Publishing in magnificent Santa Barbara (which publishes Islands) adds two new travel books to the roster, Resorts & Great Hotels, and, in September, a scuba, snorkeling and diving mag called Aqua.

William Jeanes, editor in chief of Classic Automobile Register (now part of the Hachette Filipacchi Magazines auto group), tells me his new publisher is Brian McMahon.

Can it really be 25 years since they created W magazine? Group publisher Stephanie George says the Fairchild magazine's anniversary issue (August) carries 182 pages of ads, up from 95 pages a year ago, or a nifty increase of 92%. To date this year, W is up 28% in pages. Stephanie, who also oversees WWD, Los Angeles and the forthcoming Jane, is expecting her first baby Dec. 19.

Sesame Street Parents promoted Linda Bernstein to features editor.

VARBusiness, one of those CMP publications that do so well, promoted Dawn Craft to promotion manager and Deanna Helmig to the key post of marketing director.

WNYW-TV in N.Y. hired Lillie Roberts as an account exec. She'd been national sales manager for Sinclair Communications.

Ellen Sullivan's been promoted to West Coast ad director for Elle.

Kay Wild joined The American Benefactor mag as associate publisher-East, counterpart to Tracy Nichols in the West, both reporting to Publisher Bente Strong.

Despite all those TV commercials, has any American ever actually danced, or sung, or played drums, or tossed confetti amid balloons and streamers in a new-

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