Let's take seriously for a moment, though, this line of inquiry: Can a celebrity as quirky as Wacko Jacko cut it as a cool dad?
The answer, according to the People/Yankelovich POP Monitor Profiles, is no.
Tracking the star power of 1,000 celebrities, the survey of men said Mr. Jackson is severely deficient in those traits that should mark a first-rate father: trustworthy, fun, cool and, sad to say, "can identify with."
Brand new celeb dads Sylvester Stallone and Pierce Brosnan all skew above average in those same categories. Follow the wholesome example Rambo and Bond are setting for their sons, Mikey. Put down the crotch-grabbing. Take up boxing and martinis.