And now for the results of Contest #427: We asked you for the next ad campaign to stir up U.S. enthusiasm for World Cup '94 and you kicked back these laugh-a-balls:
First Place: Nothing like a good scandal to whip up interest: Just before the semifinal-round games, German defender Guido Buchwald slams a full, two-liter bottle of Pepsi over the knee of Bolivian star Marco Antonio Etcheverry. This would not only create a sensation for the game of soccer, but would allow Pepsi to get some free publicity out of a Coca-Cola Co. sponsored event. Etcheverry's Nancy Kerrigan-like cries of "Porque? Porque?" could become part of Pepsi's new slogan "No `porque,' Pepsi." Debbie Lynn, director, Foxglove, Algonquin, Ill.; and Georgiean Geanopulos, executive, Clayton Quorum, Wilmington, Del.
Second Place: George C. Scott as Gen. Patton for World Cup: "Listen up, you mamby-pamby, Mercedes-driving, red meat-eschewing, Dockers-wearing, Oprah-watching people of the '90s! Don't you recognize the last decent outlet for rampant, irrational nationalism when you see it? Don't you want to just smash the bejeezus out of those Third World and European bastards!" Jack Huber, proofreader, Kingswood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.
Third Place: Jason Alexander promotes World Cup as his "Seinfeld" character, George Costanza. "Hey, I never score either, but you watch me!" exclaims George. Jon Pelson, account manager, Burson-Marsteller, Washington.