GLUT OF SMUT

By Published on .

Thanks to our President's libido and the Starr report, even The New York Times is starting to read like a Jackie Collins novel (although the clever use for stogies is more like something out of Cigar Aficionado's Forum pages). As avid industry watchers, we were hardly unprepared. After all, for decades, Madison Avenue has used truckloads of sexual innuendo to sell everything from beer to backpacks to trucks. In one recent spot, a woman who happens upon Clairol Herbal Essences shampoo and conditioner in the aisle of a grocery store lets out a series of orgasmic moans, whereupon Dr. Ruth steps in to advise, "You should try the body wash." Hey doc, what kinda loofa you using with that wash?

As if to reflect the country's mood, or at least its front pages, sexually tinted ads turned out to be all the rage this month. Of course, this being advertising, it hardly ever got too explicit. We tossed the ads with Lewinsky references as not timely (and frequently not funny) enough, thinking the whole Monica thing would have blown over by now (no pun intended). But we still have a few doozies to contend with. Can't get enough of stained garments? An erotically charged Carl's Jr. spot entitled "Dueling Drips" shows an ice-cream-eating woman getting her clothes all messy in a laundromat, as a hunk does the same with his burger.

As for Creativity, we just follow the trends -- it's not as if we are the perverts, OK? In fact, we were highly distressed to have to repeatedly view the spot featured in this month's "What's The Big Idea" -- a pornographic French production promoting the use of condoms when sharing sex toys. One colleague was so horrified he could only bring himself to watch it seven times.

Maybe it's all that caffeine that makes her fly. The Clio award-winning Super Mom is back, and better than ever. Coke's cel-animated, massively-muscled-mom-on-the-fly is ready for anything: getting the kids off to school, cleaning the house or, you know, saving the world from an alien invasion. While in the midst of squelching an extraterrestrial takeover, in fact, Super Mom realizes she's late for her son's soccer game, so with no time to lose she brings ET back to the 'burbs. Fortunately, like all foreigners he's quite happy with a Coke and a smile.

CLIENT Coca-Cola AGENCY Edge Creative, Santa Monica CDS Len Fink, Jack Harrower & Shelly Hochran PRODUCERS Nick Hippisley-Coxe (Edge) Paul Golden, Kaye Robinson & Leslie Arvio (Line Producer), Wild Brain DIRECTORS Mike Smith & Dave Marshall, Wild Brain

Let's just hope she doesn't date Jerry Seinfeld. "I don't even know what the word 'independent' means," 6-year-old director Christie says. But she's a genius, so who cares? Hank Perlman and Hungry Man provide the Independent Film Channel with a much-needed sense of humor via eight spots that air on IFC and also play at the artsy Angelika theater in New York. The spots poke fun at the serious nature of independent film with a salute to Christie (little Hallie Eisenberg, who also appears in a recent Pepsi spot as a sweet-faced little girl with Joe Pesci's voice), the indie film director of the day. One of the most ambitious projects Perlman has undertaken since leaving Wieden & Kennedy, the campaign is loaded with cameos from the likes of Matt Damon, Edward Norton, Lili Taylor, William H. Macy and Janeane Garofalo, all discussing, deadpan of course, the sheer honor of working with such a talented director. But Christie is one demanding artiste. She tends to throw temper tantrums, and then there's the scandalous "biting incident."

CLIENT Independent Film Channel AGENCY In House CDS/ADS/CWS Hank Perlman & Lara Shapiro DIRECTOR Hank Perlman, hungry man PRODUCERs Stuart Selig, (agency) Stephen Orent & Lalou Dammond, Hungry Man DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY Douglas Cooper EDITOR Chuck Willis, Crew Cuts

So all that butt-slappin' is just a form of tenderizing? From the city that brought us Jeffrey Dahmer, two-man agency The Consortium proudly serves up ideas for what to do with those leftover football players after the LSU football team has turned 'em into lunchmeat. Using washed-out, tacky old stock, cookbook photos and groovy retro doodles, they offer yummy recipes for preparing your quartered quarterback. Other tasty meals include: Sweet 'n Sour Wide Receiver Chops and Rotisseried Offensive Linemen.

CLIENT Louisiana State University Football AGENCY The Consortium, Milwaukee ADS Jerome Marucci & Michael Herlehy CDS Michael Herlehy & Jerome Marucci ILLUSTRATOR Jerome Marucci

Suds and sensibility. Lowe Howard-Spink puts the "How refreshing, how Heineken" spin on Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice by adding extreme violence and destruction of property to the usual English drawing room scene. Forget Mr. Darcy's acidic wit and Lizzie's biting responses; this time they're armed. In "Hole in One," a group of workmen decide to save city dwellers time and money by collaborating and doing all the work at once, from installing telephone wires to gas mains to, finally, using the hole in the ground as a burial plot.

CLIENT Heineken AGENCY Lowe Howard-Spink, London AD Mitch Levy ("Extreme Prejudice") Tom Knotman ("Hole In One") CW Derek Apps DIRECTOR Graham Rose, Rose Hackney Barber ("Extreme Prejudice") Paul Weiland, Paul Weiland Film Company ("Hole In One")

"My father's a wonderful dentist," a man gasps in answer to the question, "What club did you use?" The reason for the seemingly absurd answer is oxygen deprivation, one of the few things the new T@C (Traction at Contact) golf shoes from Nike won't protect you from when you're golfing on Mt. Everest. Yup, that's where Wieden & Kennedy takes us for their newest extreme-sport spot. Despite the "Two pivot points for optimal weight transfer," we see some of the other dangers associated with fulfilling the Mt. Everest golf dream, including the problem of white balls. (That's golf balls, not frozen cojones.)

CLIENT Nike AGENCY Wieden & Kennedy, Portland AD Rob Palmer CW Mike Smith PRODUCER Patty Brebner DIRECTOR Jonathan David, Shelter Films EDITOR Peter Wieden Smith, Joint POST James Bygrave, The Finish Line & Stefan Sonnefeld, Company 3 SOUND Bob Redpath, Warner Bros.

Except for that embarrassing Urban Cowboy phase in the early '80s, the Western look has never really been considered the height of fashion -- not even in the old West, when it was just wear. But three print pieces from Austin Kelley Advertising for Barn Fly, a Western clothing company, tells us the times are a-changing. "Introducing a radical new concept in men's and women's Western shirts. Style." Hey, even Madonna was recently spotted sportin' a big ole cowboy hat. Cone bra sold separately.

CLIENT Barn Fly AGENCY Austin Kelley, Atlanta CDS Jim Spruell & Mark Robinson AD Damon Williams CW Duncan Stone

So it's better than Old Milwaukee? A pair of foxy Nordic blondes are standing by a bridge. "Hello, here we are in the beautiful Swedish countryside, where we've come to escape and enjoy Source, a blend of spring water, natural fruit juices and vodka," says one. Seconds later they're over the rail, taking a 200-foot plunge into the water as the cops move in. It seems they're wanted by the authorities, and in two new U.K. spots from London agency Mother, they flee SWAT teams and police choppers while enjoying Source, which is "94.7 percent good," as the slogan goes. We can only assume that in Europe, sadly, they're still hunting down the notorious Swedish Bikini Team.

CLIENT Source AGENCY Mother, London PRODUCERS Ole Sanders & Madeleine Sanderson, Partizan Midi Minuit DIRECTOR Traktor

Is that a caber under your kilt or are you just happy to see me? Nothing says "Big, burley Scot" quite like men in skirts snuggling small dogs while tossing logs and throwing back a few pints of Pyramid's Scotch Ale as bagpipes wail in the distance. Cole & Weber distributed posters in Seattle stores and taverns to promote the Pacific Northwest Scottish Highland Games and Clan Gathering. Another ad reads, "No Shoes. No Shirt. No Skirt. No Service. Pyramid Ale reserves the right to serve our Scotch Ale to only Kilt-wearing, pint-guzzling Scots." Och!

CLIENT Pyramid Ales AGENCY Cole & Weber, Seattle CDS Kevin Jones & Bill Karow AD Gretchen Bennett CW Nicole Michels PRODUCTION Steve White & Judy Dixon ILLUSTRATION Sarah Cosgrove

Ain't nothin' sexier than a drippy hamburger. Directing wunderkind Jaume and Mendelsohn/Zien give us the art of seduction at a laundromat, via a Carl's Jr. burger-eating guy and an ice cream-licking girl. As each drop falls on their respective clothing, the soiled article is removed and tossed in the laundry. When burger-boy gets down to his boxers, a final droplet falls, and quicker than you can say "super-size it," off they go. Unfortunately for him, Ms. Good Humor's laundry is done and he's left high and dry with just his empty bag for coverage. The tagline: "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face." We're not touching that with a 10-foot dental dam.

CLIENT Carl's Jr. AGENCY Mendelsohn/Zien, Los Angeles ECD Jordin Mendelsohn ACD Claudia Caplan ADS Jordin Mendelsohn/Michael Kaden CW Betsy Hamilton PRODUCER Brittany Stevenson DIRECTOR Jaume, The End EDITOR John Hopp, Jigsaw Editorial POST Mike Pethel, Company Three & Russ Fell, Kristen Johnson, Alix Eglis, Pacific Ocean Post SOUND Brian Banks, Ear to Ear & Sonia Castro, Audio Banks

For many, football is more than a game, it's a way of life. GSD&M illustrates that with a new campaign for Southwest Airline's sponsorship of the NFL. Each of the four :15s focuses on the effect football season has on fans' lives, even when there's nary a player in sight. In "Produce," a woman who is looking at melons drops one, and as soon as it hits the floor every other woman in the aisle piles on top of the "fumble."And in "Wedding," the traditional bride-and-groom dance is interrupted when the groomsmen go screaming across the dance floor and dump the punch bowl on the newlyweds' heads.

CLIENT Southwest Airlines AGENCY GSD&M, austin AD Holland Henton CW Brian Brooker PRODUCERS Dottie Martin, GSD&M, Jon Kamen & Robert Fernandez, @Radical Media DIRECTOR Frank Todaro, @Radical Media EDITOR Dick Gordan, Mad River Post SOUND Jeff Coz, Garron Chang (music), Marc Levisohn (sound design), HUM

Would you buy a used tank from this man? WongDoody's Liberty Bill sells slightly pre-owned vehicles of mass destruction in what turns out to be yet another funny videogames spot, this one for the PlayStation's new WarGames title. The fine print cautions that "Liberty Bill is not responsible for loss of life or limb," and "Offer not available in Iraq or Canada." Bill himself sums it up best when he says, "Why keep up with the Joneses when you can blow 'em to Kingdom Come?"

CLIENT MGM Interactive AGENCY Wongdoody/Los Angeles CD Tracy Wong AD Michael Ivan Boychuk CWS James Brown, Dean Saling, Ben Wiener PRODUCER Joyce Schmidtbauer DIRECTOR Tony Ober, OberLenz Films

Actually, if Betsy Ross were alive today, she'd change her name to Betsy Rossignol and endorse another product. K2 and the newly renamed Hammerquist & Halverson do some spirited flag-raving in a print campaign for the new X-15 skis. Another ad voices the opinions of some stern-faced generals, who say, "We didn't pick shrapnel out of our buttocks just so you could sit your lazy ass on a chair and only ski the groomed stuff. We fought for your freedom and we'll be damned if you're not going to use it."

CLIENT K2 AGENCY Hammerquist & Halverson, seattle CD Fred Hammerquist AD/ILLUSTRATOR Matt Peterson acd/cW Ian Cohen PHOTOGRAPHER Scot Markewitz

Back-to-school cool. The new T.J. Maxx print campaign, from Ingalls Advertising, goes to the head of the class with the sublime combination of knockout models and notebook doodles. Other headlines include: "Peer pressure is better when you're causing it," and "These are the awkward years. But don't worry, your parents will grow out of it." Betcha even Posh Spice will be there checking out the maternity wear.

CLIENT T.J. Maxx AGENCY Ingalls, Boston CDS Rob Rich & Steve Bautista AD Kathy Kuhn CWS Bruno Carbo & Bob Fitzgerald PHOTOGRAPHERs Dan Nourie & simko

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco. Using old-time jukebox labels, The Martin Agency's Charlotte, N.C., office tells you exactly what you won't be hearing on 106.5 The End, a local alternative music station. The clean graphics and soothing colors charmingly offset the snide text. Copywriter David Oakley jokes, "The response has been positive. We haven't been sued yet."

CLIENT 106.5 WEND AGENCY The Martin Agency/ Charlotte AD John Boone CW David Oakley

At No Frills Funerals in Sydney, Australia, the Grim Reapers' scythe is out to cut prices. In a dirt cheap TV spot, pardon the expression, Saatchi & Saatchi/ Sydney takes a fun and frugal look at the cost of dying, with the aid of cheerful classical music and two lines of type that compare the deceased's view from a $25,000 funeral and a $2,000 funeral. The screen is black in both cases. This is followed by the tag, "When you're gone, you're gone." No word on whether there's a $200 starter package that includes a couple of Hefty bags.

CLIENT No Frills Funerals AGENCY Saatchi & Saatchi/Sydney CD Mike Newman AD Steve Carlin CW/DIRECTOR Jay Furby PRODUCER Stinky Moore EDITOR Becky Griffin

Male call. In an effort to make stamp collecting seem a little cooler than, say, bug collecting, Hampel Stefanides has created a series of print ads for the Fifth Avenue Stamp Gallery featuring some of the more interesting personalities immortalized on stamps. If Marilyn's sheets don't get the juices flowing, there's the old psychedelic stamp trip for Jerry Garcia, which warns: "The Jerry Garcia Stamp. Lick at your own risk."

CLIENT 5th Avenue Stamp Gallery AGENCY Hampel Stefanides CDS Dean Stefanides & Larry Hampel AD/CW Ari Merkin

Men are dogs. At least they are in a recent U.K. print campaign from the hip British clothing company Firetrap. The main characters in an elaborate series of menswear ads, themed "Be Aware," are very human digital dogs with badass analog habits. "They're five lads out on the town, looking to get drunk and meet chicks," explains writer Alistair Beattie at London digital design/advertising shop Me Company (home of Bjork's album art). The ads are quite the rage in the U.K., with magazines offering free space just to have these stunning computer characters featured on their pages, according to Beattie. As cool as the dogs look, the copy, a gritty Clockwork Orange-y mixture of English and oddly descriptive nonsense, manages to match wits with the art. As Firetrap top dog Razor says, "Sukkas deserve only pain. The more pain the better. Brutality is fun. Brutality is fundamental." Was that "Be Aware," or "Beware"?

CLIENT Firetrap AGENCY Me Company AD Paul White CW Alistair Beattie ARTISTS Paul

In this article:
Most Popular