HEART OF STONE; FEATHERWEIGHT FORREST

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Contest #439: Either Oliver Stone knows how to make us think, or he knows what buttons to push to make a buck-or both. The confused plot behind the assassination of President Kennedy described in "JFK" required multiple viewings to understand. The convoluted "Natural Born Killers" will require the same expenditures to make sense of his treatise on the mass-murderer psyche. What's next? T.N.T.ers: come up with the next Oliver Stone conspiracy theory.

And now the results of Contest #435: We asked you for the next Forrest Gump endorsement deal and your responses were like boxes of chocolates: we ate them and got really, really sick. Anyway:

First Prize: He's sweet and innocent, the right man at the right time for the tobacco industry. Borrowing from Virginia Slims, the tobacco industry shoots print ads that show Forrest standing on the front porch of his Alabama home, dressed in shorts and Nike sneakers, sweaty after a long run, and a cigarette dangling from his lips. The copy reads "You've come a long way, baby." In the lower right hand corner, the mandatory warning label reads "WARNING: STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES." Meryl Bennett, media planner, Rogers & Associates, Chicago.

Second Prize: As the camera zooms in on Forrest eating chocolates while sitting on a bench, footage of Bill Clinton is intercut, as voice-over cites the president's inconsistent position on several key issues. Finally, Forrest says, "Democrats are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." Tagline: "A simple man for simple Americans. Vote Gump." Robert Snyder, advertising executive, Allied Administrators, Kansas City, Mo.

Third Prize: The all-new Forrest Gump feather duster from O-Cedar. "Because sometimes you just happen to clean ... and sometimes you're destined to clean. And sometimes, it's just a little bit of both." Jeff Short, copy supervisor, Resort Condominiums International, Indianapolis.

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