And now for the results of Contest #441: we asked you for the next marketer to launch a soap-opera-like, serialized ad campaign:
First Prize: The first spot in a campaign for Bayer Aspirin shows a couple ready for bed and the husband eying his wife lustfully. He asks; she says no, citing a headache. He then gives her two Bayer Aspirin. In the next spot, she complains of a backache. He gives her Bayer Aspirin-backache formula. Campaign runs through the entire Bayer product line. Jim Sabo, commercial producer, Brose Productions. Tarrytown, N.Y.
Second Prize: Preparation H hires O.J. Simpson juror number 7 to keep a journal of his problem hemorrhoids and report to America day-to-day during spots that air during tabloid TV shows. Unfortunately, the significance of times, dates and eyewitness testimony, hairs, fibers and DNA are lost on a man who sees everything through the clouded, hazy prism of rectal itch. But after three months, the verdict is...cured! Jack Huber, proofreader, Kings-wood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.
Third Prize: A real "cereal killer," told in tantalizing "Twin Peaks" fashion: A corn-fed blond from Battle Creek, Mich., is found face-down in her bowl of cereal. Witnesses recall hearing a snap, crackle and pop not long before her demise. Subsequent spots will reveal: Was it bovine growth hormone in the milk? A boyfriend mad that she read the sports pages over breakfast? Or consumed after the expiration date? June Fletcher, editor, Homes Today, McLean, Va.