Flash: The sun came out! The month of May was the coldest in 73 years in England but June is a honey.
The Royal Soap Opera continues. Latest, and quite sad chapter, the fall from a clinic window of Prince Charles' boyhood friend, Lady Tryon. Her Ladyship, happily married but suffering from cancer and other ills, fractured her skull and back. She and Charles met when he was at school in Australia, hence his pet name for her, "Kanga," for kangaroo. That Charles always had a nifty turn of phrase.
Can nobody be trusted? The QE2 shipboard news informs us an Italian government probe of international money laundering now targets the Archbishop of Barcelona.
London's Daily Mail complains Prince Michael of Kent "exploits" his title by hosting Burson-Marsteller dinners at (British pounds) 3,500 a pop.
The same edition reports Donna Karan recommended Fergie go see guru Deepak Chopra to cure whatever it is ails her.
In a single week of Tourist Trophy motorcycle racing on the Isle of Man, four riders died. Since 1908, 168 riders have been killed. Columnist Andrew Longmore of The Times calls for an end to the mayhem.
The Fleet Street price war still on. You can buy The Times on Mondays for 10 pence.
Muslims holidaying in the Scottish Highlands found a rock with Arabic writing on it. Five Imans have now declared this proof Allah exists and many pilgrimages are under way.
The Sun never lets you down. Its frontpage banner reads: "Randy Headmaster Stole My Wife With 40 Love Letters." Also in that issue, "Madonna fans want to buy pieces of the rug her dog weed on as she filmed `Evita' in Budapest." In The Daily Telegraph Claudia Fitzherbert reports transvestite environmental activists are holding tea parties on British golf courses to protest misuse of urban green space.
As yet another British cabinet minister resigned in a sex scandal, Sir Julian Critchley, MP, writes: "Sir, Why is it that Conservative members of Parliament seem to be so much more virile than MPs of other parties?"
A travel agency in Hindon is offering British tourists a two-week holiday in Florida including air fare and rented car for an unbelievable (British pounds)49 (about $80). Plus, (here's the catch) about $255 for airport tax and insurance.
Best-selling (and somewhat sulky) author V.S. Naipaul at a literary festival blasted U.K. universities for the tyranny of their English departments. When an audience member protested that "surely" Mr. Naipaul had found his own time at Oxford to be helpful, he snapped tartly, "No, it was not."
Maurice Saatchi is back in form, advising the Prime Minister (John Major) as he did in three winning Maggie Thatcher races.