8:45 a.m. The print is judged in layers. Judges are assigned maybe five or six to a table. A table 30 feet long may have as many as 20 layers.
8:51 a.m. According to my rough estimation, there is just over two miles of linear advertising to be judged.
8:58 a.m. I wonder what would happen if I ran over and bit David Abbott?
9:10 a.m. Ad people lack the physical fitness to stand all day.
9:25 a.m. Layers with only a few pieces of work seem to improve the judges' moods dramatically.
9:26 a.m. If it were my work, I would hope to come up on a layer that was relatively sparse.
9:55 a.m. The dead zone is hard to avoid with so many judges at such small tables.
8:56 a.m. The dead zone is the junction where judge A and judge B cross as they scan the table for work they deem suitable to move forward. When two highly trained professional judges meet like this, there is, of course, only one goal: For judge A to prove his standard is higher than the standard of judge B. And vice versa.
10:00 a.m. The young volunteer assistants behind the tables disagree with every move we make.
10:11 a.m. I doubt anybody would care if I bit one of the assistants.
10: 20 a.m. Judges seem to hate bright colors.
10:50 a.m. I have the lowest standards of any of the judges.
10:51 a.m. Must create personal exit strategy.
11:05 a.m. Writing these notes is making the other judges visibly nervous. Gives me a feeling of power.
11: 09 a.m. I pee more than the other judges
11:30 a.m. We look down at the work on the tables. Would it change our attitudes if we were forced to look up?
11:35 a.m. Nobody is trying to make people feel good with their advertising.
11:47 a.m. I have a great idea for picking the best work: A focus group of creative directors.
12:04 p.m. Creative directors lack the ironic T-shirt and farm equipment caps that art directors and writers often sport. There appears to be no official creative director's uniform.
12:08 p.m. Somebody peed on the seat. Obviously, a big-time advertising person.
12:10 p.m. Now Eric Silver is writing notes. This sucks. His notes are going to be way funnier than mine.