Food for thought: There's a line of hot sauces called Blair's Death, OK? There's Original Death Sauce, After Death Sauce, Muerte Sauce, Jalapeno Death Sauce, Sudden Death Sauce - and the sauce they claim is the "hottest ever created" is called Possible Side Effects.
We were stunned to learn that Taco Bell, in possibly the most fatuous marketing stunt in the history of the space age, was offering everyone in America a free taco if the Mir space station hit a tiny target in the Pacific upon re-entry. It didn't, of course. But little-known on these shores, and even more amazing, was the news that Russian fast food chain Blini Bell was offering everyone in Russia a free blini if the Mir landed on Chechnya.
Make mine MDMmmmmmA! Great news for all you sweaty, love-everyone ravers! Ecstasy is obsolete, people. It's been replaced by the perfectly legal Balance Gold Caramel Nut Blast bar. So just get yourself a handy 24-pack and dance the night away like a techno fool. Coming soon from Balance in this thoughtful new drug-replacement snack series: Peanut Butter Smackups; the Choco-Crank Hyper Chew; and the Barb Carb Coconut Cooldown for that mellow morning-after head.
Since everyone in the world is apparently going to be in a milk mustache ad eventually, we guess it was only a matter of time before they got to Moohammad Ali. So what if his daughter had to hold his head steady? Sting like a butterfly, shill for a fee.