M(ore) S(ex) N(ow): This is supposed to be an ad for something called the Capital One Cyberize card, but don't be fooled. It's really a sneak peek at Microsoft Windows 2002, the first operating system to offer a fully functional plug 'n' play tongue peripheral. And in the interests of gender inclusivity, it'll of course be available in a Mack version.
You've seen When Good Pets Go Bad. Have you seen When Bad Campaigns Get Worse? It's uglier than Keith Richards without his makeup. On the other hand, this ad may be brilliant. We had to drink five gin and tonics just so we could forget we ever saw it.
A twinky-dinky typeface and "When that whistle blows it's dipping time" for a headline. An immaculate, cutesy-poo construction worker in, get this, red overalls. And a product called Dean's Dips for One. Not bad for an ad created on freakin' Neptune, is it?!
The Golden Croak Award for Best Use of a Bearded Frog to Sell an Electric Shaver goes to Cyber Rebate, as the dot-com artfully exploits the similarity between ribbit and rebate. Hell, it's almost Christmas, let's give 'em a bonus Sisyphean Tagline of the Year Award, for "Buy stuff and get cash to buy stuff and get cash to buy stuff and get cash . . ." Has the treadmill of capitalist consumption ever been better expressed? Hey, that reminds us, we need to get a new treadmill! Preferably, one with a beard.