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Drink different: So Grey Goose vodka is alleged to have been "Rated the #1 tasting vodka in the world." Hello? "#1 tasting"? You mean best tasting? Tastiest? How about most tasty? Never mind. We're rating this the #1 Annoying Headline of the Month.

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A special Where the Rubber Meets the Road Award to the new LifeStyles "Haven't Gotten Any Lately?" campaign, which is based around images of big blue balls and the impenetrable tag, "Condoms shaped for 2." To the b-balling schlub pictured here, we have one piece of advice: Don't worry about being called for palming, son.

Quick Cut

Insane Munchy Bar Invasion, Exhibit A: Quaker Chewy Graham Slam. The point of this product is it's so incredibly chewy, Mom gives the kid one and he stops telling everybody her weight because he can't talk with this glutinous mass in his mouth. So why isn't the damn Graham Slam the size of a baseball bat?

Quick Cut

Insane Munchy Bar Invasion, Exhibit B: Kellogg's Nutri-Grain. This is an ad about a father who hasn't got time to eat breakfast at home because he has to fly his son around the house every morning. Hey, shmendrick: Put the kid down,

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