QUICK CUTS

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We can't wait to slip that baby into a bipedal locomotion device with an interlocking binding system. Best Description of the Heel of a Sock goes to Ralph Lauren's RLX Polo Sport for: "Impact absorption zone with bilateral grid flexibility."

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Whatever you do, just don't call this chick an airhead. Best Rack on an Invisible Babe goes to Levi's new "Opt. For the Original" campaign. So that means these aren't implants, right? Awesome!

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Great! Just when you thought Y2K paranoia was waning, along comes American Electric Power, of all companies, with an ad that trumpets the omnipotence of the yellow legal pad. Yeah, they also make great torches when you're trying to scare off looters.

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It's too complicated. Isn't there a simpler way to say "faster"? Cretinous "Stuff" Headline of the Month goes to Microsoft, for "Download Internet Explorer

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