GET SNIPPY PUTTIN' OUT TEEN SPIRIT

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Contest #408: Move over, Buttafuoco, there's a new name emblazoned on America's pop culture psyche, courtesy of tabloid TV and The New York Times, and it is Bobbitt. As in that kinky, fun-with-pruning-shears kinda couple, John Wayne and Lorena. They've got just the kind of cutting-edge credibility that would make them perfect product pitchmen (no, Lorena, I said product, not . . . oh, never mind) for some daring advertiser. Come up with the next ad campaign featuring John Wayne and Lorena Bobbitt. And watch yourselves, T.N.T.ers: we want it creative but clean. Tastelessness may earn you a chuckle from us, but not a T-shirt.

And now for the results of Contest #404: Your homework assignment was to come up with the next name and slogan for the first-ever corporate sponsored national high school athletic championships and you handed in these reports:

And:

First Prize: S.W.E.A.T. (Smith & Wesson Educational & Athletic Tournament.) Sponsored by the firearms giant to get its share of a high-growth market, high school kids would be reminded, "Sports, guns and high school. Nothing's more American!" Jack Bachinsky, account exec, Kings-wood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.

Second Prize: The Clearasil Games. Co-sponsored by Pop Tarts and Xerox, which introduces its youth-marketing slogan, "As interested in reproduction as kids are." Nicknames for competing teams would include the Whiteheads, Blackheads, Pimples, SATs and Sweat Sox. L.J. Herman, associate copy chief, Day-Timers Inc., East Texas, Pa.

Third Prize: The E.P.Teen Pregancy Kit Shot Put Team. Sexually hyperactive boys and girls learn that when you put out, you just might go all the way! Jack Huber, proofreader, Kingswood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.

Honorable Intentions: The Camel Cross-Country Competition. After smoking the competition on the five-mile course, join Old Joe in the locker room for a smoke of a different sort. Phil Jimenez, freelance artist, New York.

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