And now for the results of Contest #430: We asked you for the next big league sport and its sponsors and you tossed us these oddballs:
First Prize: The Pro Cow Tippers League, sponsored by the American Dairy Association. Cow tippers, decked in Stetsons with the ADA logo, go spur to spur with competitors like Beef Industry Council. ADA spots that run during TV broadcasts show cowboys gulping back glasses of milk and wiping moo-staches from their upper lips, then pushing over slumbering cattle. Tagline: "A whole new kind of milk shake." Susan Liss, account exec, Western International Media, Chicago.
Second Prize: The U.S. Chess Team makes it to the 1996 Summer Olympics in Atlanta, gaining millions of new fans and several new sponsors: The Catholic Church sponsors the Bishop ("Made a bad move? Don't worry-you're forgiven!"); White Castle sponsors the Rook ("There's only one way to, so go to the White Castle!"); and the Republican Party sponsors all the little pawns: "Sacrifice is part of the game." William Morreal, market research manager, Ace Hardware Corp., Oak Brook, Ill.
Third Prize: Mountain Dew sponsors the American "Been There, Done That" League. Slacker youths slurp back Mountain Dews while recounting their alleged weekend exploits. Points are awarded not only foroutrageous tales but also in such categories as chugging speed, Dew tossing and catching and shooting Dew out of nostrils. Jeff Walter, copywriter, Vital Communications, Lexington, Ky.