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If we work for the mailroom guy, can we at least use the meter for personal letters? If this ad doesn't add up for you, you're a hopeless, wizened fart, and that's the point of a new campaign from McCann-Erickson/San Francisco for The San Jose Mercury News, a paper positioned as The Wall Street Journal of Silicon Valley. The outdoor ads, running in San Jose and San Francisco, are aimed to increase the readership "of the fiercely competitive twentysomething workaholics in the Valley," says art director Mike Ancevic. "They're new to the area and they have lots of discretionary income-they're Silicon implants, and they can't afford to miss a beat. It's the sort of place where next week you could be working for your mailroom guy." Additonal credits to creative director Dave Tutin, writer Stephen Mietelski and photographer Margot Hartford.

Are the movies shown in a tent? For the third straight year, Atlanta-based Austin Kelley Advertising has produced a pro bono effort for the Atlanta Film & Video Festival, but this time, explains CD Jim Spruell, the aim was to "really hone in on the festival idea." Hence a Felliniesque :60 that depicts what the creatives call "beautiful freaks" in a circus motif, directed by Holly Paige Joyner of local Wildlife Pictures. In the spot, a wide-eyed girl videotapes a group of multitalented performers, who were actually pulled out of Coney Island and Greenwich Village and shot in a Newark, N.J., warehouse. Among the three-ring treats, a Ferris wheel becomes a reel of film and the lion tamer's whip is made of celluloid. Credit also group CD Mark Robinson, group head Lee St. James, AD Lola Carlisle, writer Cathy Lepik and producer Stacy Smeltzer. Music by Josh Kersh at JSM Music.

We thought she was going to see Long Dong Silver. New York's Jordan McGrath Case & Taylor is not exactly doing the familiar Red Lobster-style steaming-plate-of-jumbo-shrimp-with-the-exploding-butter-sauce routine for new client Long John Silver's. In a pair of :30s, directed by Michael Patrick Jann of HKM Productions, Silver's comes on with brassy comedy, and we don't mean the dry Arthur Treacher's Fish & Chips variety. In "Tryst," a woman dressed to kill has an assignation in a motel room with a fishcake. Her horrified husband and a private dick bust in while she's sitting on the bed moaning "Fiiiish." In "Doggies," a schlemiel tries to satisfy a carful of hungry dogs with McDonald's and Burger King, but all they'll eat is Long John Silver's hush puppies-and the closing product shot looks about as yummy as the shoes. Explains creative director Tracy Spinney, "The idea was just so stupid, we had to do it." Credit also CD Jeff Griffith and producer Chris Ott.

Easy-cook rider. Martin/Williams, Minneapolis, substitutes the wind streaming through your brain for the wind streaming through your hair in a new pro bono print campaign for the Motorcycle Safety Center/Minnesota Institute of Public Health. Besides this package of found round, two ads headlined, "There's nothing quite like the feel of the open road," threaten riders with cheese grater and buzzsaw highways (the work of retoucher Brad Palm), while a third offers up some ordinary blacktop, dubbed "Tattoo remover." Explains art director Randy Hughes, "Pavement takes on a new meaning" when you don't have the right gear. Not to mention Helmet. The ads are posted at dealerships, bars, schools, driver's ed and rider safety classrooms. Additional credits to creative director Lyle Wedemeyer, copywriter Tom Kelly and photographer Shawn Michienzi of the

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