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Is this Nestles Crunch Fitness? No one says "Who cares?" better than the guys at DDB Needham/New York who do the New York- and L.A.-based Crunch fitness centers. This ad, one in a series of in-store posters, appeals to a much different kind of gym-going crowd: According to senior art director Tom DelMundo, their "urban and funky, no bullshit feel" appeals to just about anybody. Others in this latest series read, "If a girlie magazine and some quiet time is all you need for aerobic exercise, more power to you," and "Look at it this way: The more you exercise, the healthier your lungs, the more you can smoke." Rumor has it that patrons of Crunch can take pleasure in a smoky treat right there on the premises, though there are no ashtrays installed on the treadmills yet. Additional credits to creative director Marc Schattner and copywriter Erhan Erdem.

The gentle face of grout. Irvine, Calif., agency dGWB has not only put an image on a faceless sticky widget in this campaign for Custom Building Products but has managed to make it slightly appealing. Says CD/ copywriter Felipe Bascope, the agency's goal is to "humanize something that's far from human, that's clinical, even pharmaceutical; to give a name to something that hardly deserves one." Yes, reviled grout! So the trade ads compare grout colors to things like a cigar and lipstick on a white collar, and each shade of grout gets a designy number. Additional credits to creative director Jon Gothold, writer Chris Cruttenden, art director Steve Ricker and photographer Neal Brown.

But can he call Dial a Mattress? DMB&B/St. Louis' first assignment for Southwestern Bell's Callnotes service-a wakeup call deal of sorts-takes the viewer to the rad world of Xtreme sleeping, as Rip Van Winkle awakes one modern day to find himself in a tech-mad future, but, on the upside, he runs into his son, a carbon-dated street vendor. "It's pretty obvious who in history could have used a wakeup call," says ACD/writer Dave Swaine, and while that's true enough, execution saves the day (Charles Wittenmeier of A Band Apart directed) as birds fly out from under Rip's hat, which is also a handy coin collector as he stands dumbfounded on a crowded street, looking like Father Time with advanced Alzheimer's. Additional credits to group creative director Ric Anello, creative director Brad Ashton, ACD/art director Michael Smith and producer Michele Morris. A TV :60 and a cinema :90 break in mid-May in the Southcentral states.

Obedience training, lessons 65-70. Lowe & Partners/SMS, New York, goes heavy on the comedy clubbing anti-advertising with a new series of "Obey Your Thirst" spots for Sprite. Visa, Cheer, nature footage and athlete endorsements all get the treatment, along with a cola attack based around a brand called Jooky. Directed by Kevin Kerslake of A Band Apart, and edited by Barney Miller at 89 Greene, New York, the Jooky jingle pulses to a tropical beach party, only to reveal itself to be a commercial watched by two Bill and Ted manques looking for an excellent adventure. "Oh, man, mine's busted," one manages to mutter, when he pops the top on his Jooky only to find he's still spooky. "Trendy Little Place" (directed by Andy Morahan of Propaganda, and edited by Ian Mackenzie, Ian Mackenzie Editorial, New York) takes the viewer to the most fabulous, goatee-infested, hipper-than-thou spot in Hollywood, "Where the gold is real, the kisses aren't the only things that are fake and even the busboys have screenplays to sell." It's also where Sprite is not served, so you'd better bring your own if you want to be submissive.

Additional credits to chairman/chief creative officer Lee Garfinkel, group creative head/art director C.J. Waldman, GCH/writer Todd Godwin, art director Jason Gaboriau, writer Steve Doppelt and producers Maria Danar and Laurie

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