The Kafka Questionnaire

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What does Fahrvergnuegen mean?

A land far away from Nuegen.

If one of The Sopranos characters had to be your creative director, whom would you prefer?

The newest Badabing stripper.

What great film director would you not want to direct your next spot, and why?

Woody Allen, for obvious neurotic/ironic reasons.

How will the internet affect the future of advertising?

. . .still downloading . . .

What is the most underappreciated American food product?

Ho Ho's.

Why are there so few women in advertising?

Because Carmela Soprano is not a creative director.

What would be your dream job if you left advertising?

Monster truck driver.

You're cleaning out your grandmother's closet. What design gems are you likely to find there?


What's your Halloween costume?

A full-body naked suit that's anatomically correct. I'm serious.

If Fidel Castro were to open an ad agency, what would it be called?

I Havana Idea.

What would a reality TV show about advertising be called?


How much would Dave Thomas weigh if were a vegan?

Just one calorie.

Do you miss Madge the Manicurist?

No, I bite my own nails.

What new cable channel are you waiting for?

The Lassie Channel.

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