Fitness Fetish

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Count the ways.
Ah, the gym category. Where sex, health and fashion meet in a depraved menage of torrid lust, rank sweat and passionate perversity. Equinox is out with a new body-obsessed campaign, and they were kind enough to send us this direct mail piece. So to speak. The question: How many fetishes is this woman exploiting? Name them all and try to be big-tent inclusive, if you know what we mean. Winner gets to spend a weekend at the Tokyo Hilton with that nice Japanese schoolgirl from Kill Bill. Send your entries to this instant!

Pass the nippleberry.
Last week's contest: You were asked to name the jelly that would complete this peanut butter treat. The overwhelming response was . . . KY. We just don't get this. What does Kentucky have to do with jelly? Bluegrass, the Derby . . . jelly? Sorry, you've lost us. So the winner is Cliff Watson of Bozell & Jacobs/Omaha, with "Nippleberry." And the runner-up is Jan Shalla of Marketing Drive Worldwide, with "Me Jelly." 'Cause Jan don't shake like that.