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How about a little direct-response save-the-wolves action? We found this in Harper's; you know Harper's, where Lewis Lapham finally stopped writing the same column every month after 25 years? Is this ad messing with your anchorage re the 49th state? Rate it on the Rate the Ad-o-mometer's six-degree scale of excellence, with 5 being the top score: 5 World-changing, 4 Great, 3 Good, 2 Fair, 1 Forgettable, 0 Actively Annoying. And feel free to comment on the art direction, the photography, the copy, whatever. Click the ad to play.

Hey, It's the Strapple Lady!
Hey, It's the Strapple Lady!
Last week's Rate the Ad. Falcon Northwest, that company that does ... what? We have a consensus this week, and that's it. Falcon who? What was the question? This is not helped by a website that, for the few who bothered going there, had little to offer and nothing of this girl. The sad result is a Good/Bad ratio of only 37/63 on the four/two handicapped split on the Rate the Ad-o-mometer. Moreover, most entrants missed the connection between her eyes and the Falcon logo and complained about vampirism, Hep C, demonic possession and other irrelevancies. Then there's the presumably plucked and primped metrosexual contingent who complained about her "man arm," or better yet her "hairy beast arm." The original pic, as one astute pollee noted, can be found on iStockphoto (which is why this girl's not on the Falcon site), where it's titled "Atractive Young Girl." Yes, they spelled attractive wrong, but you notice it's not titled "Atractive Young Girl With Hairy Beast Man Arm." In the PDF we include, just to annoy the man-arm haters, another Falcon ad, this one for the FragBox. And if you don't know what a FragBox is, it's where you keep your Frag, duh. Anyway, here are the results.

5 World-changing 2%
4 Great 6%
3 Good 14%
2 Fair 15%
1 Forgettable 30%
0 Actively Annoying 33%

And here are some of our fave responses.

1 Sure, the enticing image draws you in, but to what? If you even stay interested enough to go to the website, it's dry and techie-looking and totally forgettable.

0 As a gamer hobbyist, which I would assume is the target market the company is looking to hit, this ad leaves me lost and confused.

1 Way too vague and open-ended; seems they're being a bit self-important to think anyone would be able to figure out what the hell they're talking about.

3 Typical guy response: I don't exactly know what they're selling but I definitely want some.

2 This ad is visually hot, but too bad my eyes go to her eyes, then to her you-know-whats, then the logo and then and I'm done. I didn't even see the web address the first time I looked it over — why hide it in a dead corner?

1 If this were an ad in a mag, I would've admired her breasts, cringed at the knitwear-biting and turned the page. But since this is Rate the Ad, I checked the website. It's a fairly good site; they build computers for gamers and apply automotive paint and graphics to PCs and laptops. But I never would have guessed it from the 2 kewl 4 U ad and the subgrade hyphenated URL.

4 It's Children of the Corn's older sister and she's hot! The eyes are an awesome creative touch that ties in nicely to the Falcon logo.

0 Is she simultaneously trying to seduce and repel the audience? Terrifying. I don't know what they're selling, but I don't want it!

2 It's too obvious that they were trying to figure out how to use a hot girl to sell their product. Granted, the girl is hot, but the clothes-biting doesn't make any sense to me within the context of the copy. And although I'm not a gamer, the copy is begging me to disagree with their claim.

1 She's eating her shirt? Is that sexy? Is that what the kids are into these days? And what does that have to do with the message of the ad, anyway?

3 I wonder if her shirt tastes like chicken.

0 She's hot. The glowing eyes are interesting. But you gotta tell me more about the product before I'm gonna hit the web.

3 Nothing says "gaming excellence" like jugs and jaundice. Got me to the site, though.

1 So if I play my games on a Falcon, a hot chick with bird eyes in need of a conditioning treatment will eat her clothes.

0 OK, demonic sexuality compelled me to go to the website, but I ran screaming when I heard the dated electronic music.

4 Drives the point home that a hot "toy" is better, and does it in a way that teenage boys will understand and remember.

5 Excellent. The first thing you see is the boobs, then that she can't contain her inner self — the werewolf eyes (or is she an alien? I don't know I'll go to the website to find out), gnawing at her clothes ... I need to go somewhere private now.

4 The hypno-boob effect makes me want to buy, buy, buy. Putting the logo next to her nipple is great design.

3 I'd buy hemorrhoid cream from this woman, and I don't even have hemorrhoids.

1 When did we forget to tell people what we're selling and why they should care? The headline's a good start, but using a babe, hot or not, is a lazy way to avoid doing a real ad.
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