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Smooth Enough For Ya?
This week's Rate the Ad. OK, back to the booze. A tequila by the none too thrilling name of 1800. We've never heard of this brand, but we feel there are a number of burning questions raised by this remarkable ad. What is under this woman's coat? What is the woman loooking at? What are the men looking at (they're clearly not looking at the woman)? What is this flashing scenario telling us about the product? Why the orange tint? Why the ghost image of the bottle? What about the use of "smooth" in booze ads? Is it just us, or is this a completely meaningless word that, if it signifies anything at all, it's bland? Rate this on a six-degree taste scale of excellence on the Sweet Meter, with 5 being the top score: 5 Very Sweet, 4 Sweet, 3 Semi-Dry, 2 Dry, 1 Extra Dry, 0 Sour. And feel free to write in your comments about the art direction, the photography; the copy, the typography, the logo, the packaging, the concept, whatever. Click here to play.

Big Bling Finger
Last week's Rate the Ad. This multifaceted — sorry about that — diamond idea went over like a Liz Taylor pole dance, pulling a deeply flawed 33/67 Good/Bad ratio, comparing the top half of the Sweet Meter to the bottom half. And a whopping 48% of votes are in the lowest third of the meter — better known as the Grimace Zone. However, we must point out that, based on the comments, the majority of voters are more receptive to da brewksis than DeBeers. There's a substantial amount of male rage being aired at the sheer effrontery of the conspicuously consumptive concept, with many middle fingers being raised on the right hand, the left hand, and in some cases, both hands. There was also trouble with the bizarre lens flare, as well as the model herself, who was frequently deemed too masculine to support this feminine idea, even by some female pollees. Though no one pointed out that, like Maria Shriver, the model looks like she could cut a diamond with her face, which is the ultimate in strength and independence. Anyway, here are the results.

5 Very Sweet 10%
4 Sweet 10%
3 Semi-Dry 13%
2 Dry 19%
1 Extra Dry 21%
0 Sour 27%

And here are some of our fave responses.

0 Aarrgghh. I've been blinded by the searing brilliance of an overly dramatic copywriter.

0 Why isn't her hand raised in a classroom or hailing a taxi or something, instead of her just sitting there, looking like she'd rather take a bite out of you?

5 Strong visuals. Strong layout. Strong copy. Strong campaign.

3 I can see where they wanted to go with this ad. However, she looks more like she's holding a light saber than wearing a shiny ring. The copy bored me to death and now my right hand wants to tear up this ad.

5 I've seen other ads from this campaign, and the first one I saw made me stop to read the copy. Layout and image drew me in because the design approach is unusual for a jewelry ad, and I got the underlying message right away.

0 It's like Hallmark creating new holidays to sell more cards, but a thousand times more evil.

2 If it's about women's strength and independence, why do they have her trying so hard to look like a man?

0 Looking at this ad, you can just feel the market value of diamonds sink. We've been told they represent the deepest feelings we have and here they are hawked like cellphones.

4 Part of a great campaign. Good copy and approachable glamour. Just one point: which women can afford diamonds for their right hands? The "women of the world" or just the rich ones?

1 Takes "dangerous but alluring" to the next level: "Want me, but maybe I'll blast you with photons."

4 Wicked, rebellious, sexy and androgynous. She could hurt you with either hand, and it draws you straight to the point. Men'll hate it.

0 What are they implying? That by wearing a diamond on your right hand, you're now a member of the cause for womanhood? I find this insulting.

0 Proof that superheroes do have spouses. Meet Mrs. Green Lantern.

4 As a single female professional, I must say it makes me want to buy a ring for my right hand. Like being entitled.

0 What's next? Diamond toe rings? We'd better pay attention, we might be missing another trend!

5 This campaign seductively wraps its greedy little arms around the idea of unfettered independence, puts the female ego on a pedestal, turns men into an afterthought and frees women of the burden of having to carry around an extra few thousand dollars. Brilliant.

2 When did they rewrite the "Hokey Pokey" and why wasn't I informed?

1 The justified all-cap copy is unforgivable, not to mention incomprehensible. The model looks great, though.

0 And the angel visited the drag queen and said unto her, "Thou shalt purchase ugly diamond rings."

0 An overt attempt to create a new market for diamonds among successful single women. Don't fall for it, ladies! And avoid this slick-backed hairdo, too. Nasty.

1 Women of the world, raise your right hand . . . and salute the Fuhrer! Looks like a recruitment ad for the kindler, gentler modern-day Third Reich.