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Does This Kick Ash?
So Volvic is created by volcanoes? Who knew? Is this ad erupting for you or would you like to wash your hands of it with a bar of Lava? Rate it on a six-degree taste scale of excellence on the Sweet Meter, with 5 being the top score: 5 Very Sweet, 4 Sweet, 3 Semi-Dry, 2 Dry, 1 Extra Dry, 0 Sour. And feel free to offer your comments on the photography, the illustration, the art direction, the copy, the concept, the logo, the typography, whatever. Click here to play.

Goodbye, Ms. Chips
Last week's Rate the Ad. We thought maybe the sheer clutter-busting potential of this in-your-face face would impress some of you. Well, with a few exceptions, just about all of which we've included below, not really. This ad folded with a wretched 36/64 on the Sweet Meter's Good/Bad ratio — comparing the top half of the meter to the bottom half — and it was further decked with a 47% in the Grimace Zone and one of the lowest High Five ratings ever. It's remarkable how what is surely a perfectly cute girl, once you take away the spooky light and the snarl, was dumped on like she was the redheaded stepsister of the prom date from hell. Even her necklace was hated. "I wouldn't poke her" jokes were flying like pasteboards at a Ricky Jay show. Even the women got in on it. Hello, Courtney? It's not nice to say someone looks like a "stuck-up ho-bag." Anyway, here are the results.

5 Very Sweet 3%
4 Sweet 13%
3 Semi-Dry 20%
2 Dry 17%
1 Extra Dry 22%
0 Sour 25%

And here are some of our fave responses.

2 Sneering does not strike me as a common facial response to a surprising deal. And compositionally, this is one of the worst photographs I've seen. It's so bad, I can't grasp the rest of the ad.

3 Demonstrates the problem with a nice resolution for the brand. Better than logo-slapping.

5 So funny I almost spit my milk out on my computer screen. Excellent ad, makes me want to play and practice my own poker face.

0 Do you really need a good poker face when playing at the Mad Hatter's table with your Alice in Wonderland-sized cards?

1 I'm pretty sure I made the same face as the model when I saw the ad.

3 An amazing concept that nails exactly why playing online is better. The girl, on the other hand, reminds me why I shouldn't date online. Good idea, bad execution.

4 Caught me. Made me read.

4 Not bad if you're talking to amateurs, 'cause only amateurs would give themselves away that easily.

0 This looks more like a "Frank just spit in the avocado dip" face than an "I got a bad hand" face.

3 Ugly, ugly, ugly — but it makes its point and arouses interest. Isn't that what an ad is supposed to do?

0 I can imagine the intern crouching at this woman's feet, holding a shoddy adjustable desk lamp up her nose, thinking, "I don't get paid enough for this."

2 Does this mean that trolls play poker with huge cards?

5 The photo is great. The logo is great. The copywriter doesn't know how to pay off a headline in the body copy, but two out of three ain't bad.

0 The only thing good about this ad is that this is the last time I'll ever see it.

2 That's not a bad poker face — it would confuse the crap out of me. But if you've got a face like that, I can see why you would want to stay behind a monitor.

1 Well, she does have some Mardi Gras swag, so she has a history of people not caring about her face.

1 How about got a bad everything, from the wardrobing to the model selection to the, well, everything.

0 For all you guys who think you're talking to a hot chick in the chat room.

0 How can one blow a strategy this beautifully simple?

0 She should be looking at the cards, not snarling at me. But love the giant fish egg necklace.

4 Ugly ad, but it works.

1 Does this face make you want to visit their website??

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