Ad Age: You've been in hiding for two weeks. Why come out now?
Janet's Breast: I wanted to make a clean brea -
AA: -- Breast of it?
JB: Please. Break with the past.
AA: What are your concerns?
JB: Too much exposure isn't good. Look at Anna Nicole Smith's. Or Jenny McCarthy's. They flopped. It's not a risk I wanted to take.
AA: Cognoscenti are saying you consciously timed two releases: yours, and the new CD.
JB: Cynics! My career comes second. Integrity means everything to me.
AA: So this had nothing to do with media synergy, flagging sports ratings, young men disappearing from the TV audience or erectile-dysfunction ads?
JB: I'd like to answer that question with a question: Why do you think NBC felt compelled to announce it would not expose an 80-year-old woman's breasts on "ER?"
AA: Are you intimating that sex sells?
JB: So much so that even the lack of sex sells-as long as it's publicized.
AA: Does this have implications for the coming presidential race?
JB: I think John Kerry's got it locked up. After all, he's a Boston bra-man.
JB: Sorry. I couldn't help myself.
AA: Let's get back to the controversy. Reality shows have featured group sex, sex with midgets, gay sex and badly decorated apartments. Why the commotion over an undressed chest?
JB: Nothing frightens Americans more than a wardrobe malfunction. It reminds of the fragility of daily life. I bet most of your readers still remember the Talon Zipper ads-with a shudder.
AA: By the way, what was it you were wearing?
JB: A propeller.
AA: A propeller?!
JB: For lift?
AA: I don't believe it.
JB: OK. It was a yin-yang star. A martial-arts weapon. You think I trust Justin Timberlake?
AA: Speaking of revelations, what about Pete Rose's admission he gambled on baseball?
JB: I got more elevation than his book did. He may make it into the Hall of Fame, but if the market's any judge, it won't happen until he's dead.
AA: What about President Bush's admission that there probably weren't weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
JB: He's even more exposed than me! Too bad he couldn't tell the truth: We didn't go to war with Iraq; we went to war against Saudi Arabia. We just fought the battle in Iraq.
AA: Quite sagacious for a mere breast!
JB: I've had media training to make the transition from gland to brand.