2. Production: This holiday season, they don't want to hear the following words: "I know the client hasn't approved a media plan, layouts or a photographer, but would you put together a ballpark estimate?"
3. Finance: New software to replace Clients & Profits, preferably with a feature that doesn't let people log on until they do their timesheets, kind of like a "Denver boot" for agencies.
4. Account exec: You know that research document I emailed to you AND printed out for you? Could you actually bring it to the meeting?
5. IT: Restart your computer. And check to see if the thing's plugged in. Then come see me.
6. Production again: When we all know the deadline, don't ask for the absolute drop-dead deadline.
7. Art director: After I show it to you six ways, avoid saying, "What else did you try?"
8. HR: Don't call in sick after a sunny 3-day weekend; it strains credibility.
9. Management: Don't call us "boss." It always sounds slightly ironic.
10. Office manager: For the last time, don't put the knives in the dishwasher with the blades up (does someone around here hate me?)
Happy holidays, and may there be empathy toward all . . .