Guest Review

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FedEx, "Geeks"

Agency: BBDO/New York Director: Bryan Buckley, Hungry Man

Montague: Two computer geeks selling a Website idea to a group of dumbfounded executives. The spot ends with the line: "When it really, really has to get there and we're not kidding," or something like that. My only problem here is that this strategy was done better by FedEx and Joe Sedelmaier about 15 years ago. Bryan Buckley has shot some of the best commercials in recent memory. This is not one of them.

Yeend: Compared to a bizarre Web designer's pitch, FedEx looks old-guard reliable -- the one sure thing businesses can count on as they try to do the e-thing. The thing is, Web stuff is a pretty boring part of business. What happened to the potentially hilarious consequences of a package not being delivered? The brief probably said, "Do an e-business spot."

Compuware, "Island"

Agency: Arian, Lowe & Travis Director: Zack Snyder, HSI Productions

Montague: In this spot we take a tour of a deserted island paradise. Are we looking for something? Suddenly we find something! It's a sign that says "Grand Opening." We are told that Compuware can get your business anywhere with the technology you already have. I liked the "looking" part of the commercial. It's just that I was hoping that what we were going to find at the end was a really good idea. Oh well.

Yeend: This entire concept can be summed up in one frame: a "Grand Opening" sign hanging on a deserted island. I think it would be a better print ad. The first 15 seconds of the spot are quiet and beautiful, but unnecessary. The question I'm left with is, why would I want to open my store on a deserted island? Oh wait, I get it, it's the Internet! So now I can sell to all the customers on a deserted island.

Jeep, "Hand"

Agency: Bozell/Detroit Director: Andrew Douglas, Satellite Films

Montague: A giant hand creates the Earth, then populates it with critters of every description. Something is still missing. The hand puts the finishing touch on the planet by adding a Jeep. No gratuitous sheet metal shots. No demographically correct couple, hair blowing in the wind. A simple visual idea well executed. Thank God.

Yeend: A special effects epic. And on the eighth day (or whenever He got a little bored), God created the Jeep Wrangler. This is a cool way to say that the world was created as your playground, and the Jeep was created for you take it on in all its glory. It's so ridiculous, I doubt anyone will think Jeep is saying their product is made by God.

AICPA, "Strategy for Growth"

Agency: Hill, Holliday, Connors, Cosmopulos/Boston Director: John O'Hagan, Hungry Man

Montague: A very simple spot for the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants. So simple, I had to watch it three times to figure out that it was telling me to ask my accountant for growth strategies for my business. The spot is fine, but if you're asking your accountant for your business growth strategy, I'd say you're in big trouble. Instead of shooting this spot, I might have considered shooting the strategy.

Yeend: Sometimes small jokes work. This is not one of those times. The man suggests putting another desk in a cramped office, and the woman laughs. I really wanted something to happen! But nothing did. The quiet setup sucked me in, but the joke let me down. This small joke is just a small joke, and ultimately I wouldn't sit through it twice.

Theglobe.com, "Telekinesis"

Agency: Black Ink Marketing Director: Tenney Fairchild, M-80

Montague: A woman uses the Internet to find fellow telekinetics to help her get back at leering construction workers by mentally bending the I-beam they are sitting on. After I wrote down my score, I tried to use my mind to bend it into a 2. It stayed a 1.

Yeend: The intro special effects are sketchy, but I like the concept. Now I know it's better to go online and "join a club," than pursue my hobbies in solitude. The group-bending of the steel I-beam supporting the rude construction workers was welcome justice for our telekinetic-in-distress. It made me say, "Ha-ha on you, you silly cat-calling construction worker people!" Then I logged on to Theglobe.com.

Ty Montague is a creative director at Bartle Bogle Hegarty/New York.

David Yeend is a copywriter at DDB/Seattle.

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