SEX PLEASE, WE'RE BRITISH;OP ARTLESS;YOUTH: MARK IT

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After last year's cinema commercial for Don't Tell It, which starred a "La Femme Nikita"-ish character gunning down a sexist slob, the obvious question for the Saatchi & Saatchi/London creative team, was how to top it.

While a follow-up cinema spot for the U.K. woman's magazine isn't brutal, it certainly fires plenty of downtown attitude, though most of it is so subtle as to pass practically unnoticed. Created by writer Jo Tanner and art director Viv Walsh, and directed by Kristian Levring of Freedom Films, it follows the same brunette from her boyfriend's flat, past a collection of street freaks to her lesbian lover's pad. "We went into the underbelly of urban living," says Tanner, noting how the spot's procession of illicit acts will be recognizable only to the initiated.

On the far more explicitly bawdy side is another Tanner/Walsh cinema spot from Saatchi, this one for 18-30 Holidays, a Mediterranean resort company that has "a bad reputation where people get drunk and have sex," says Walsh. Directed by Chris Dada of Thorton & Griffin, it opens with a bikini babe, visible from the waist up, splashing orgasmically in the sea. When a guy suddenly pops up in front of her gasping for air, she frowns, pushes him back under and resumes her merry thrashing.

What's more annoying than a boom Jeep? How about an ad for the kind of car stereo gear that will be found in a boom Jeep. It's a new campaign from Milwaukee's Hoffman York & Compton for Jen-sen's new line of Nitro series car components, tagged, with eye-popping honesty, "If it's too loud, you're too old."

Yes, the dizzying ads are supposed to be more difficult to look at than Courtney Love, says CD/copywriter Dave Hanneken, but they run in visually arrogant books like RayGun and Bikini; the Nitro line is for the high-end boom Jeeper, explains Hanneken, "the kids who wear $150 shoes."

Other perfectly frank headlines include, "We measure intelligence in watts, not IQs," and "No one will complain about your muffler again."

Other credits to art director/writer Mike Ancevic, writer Gary Stepniak and creative director Tom Jordan.4

It's that time of year again-time to start thinking about Cannes, the ultimate advertising boondoggle. Actually, Cannes is increasingly becoming a kind of mini-Sorbonne, with numerous lectures, panels and workshops about advertising.

Among them is the YCC. This year, Creativity is once again teaming up with Apple and The Image Bank to sponsor the Worldwide Young Creative Competition at the International Advertising Festival. A 24-hour Le Mans-style test of conceptual ability and desktop endurance, the YCC pits copywriter/art director teams from different countries against one another in a race to create a public service print ad.

The competition is only open, however, to people under the age of 28 who sign up for the Festival's Young Delegate package, a reduced-rate deal that includes registration and hotel accommodations. For more information on how to represent the U.S., call Cathy St. Jean at Screenvision Cinema Network, 212-752-5774.

"OK, class, before our pop quiz on zygotes, we're going to see a short filmstrip on the reproductive cycle of the duckbilled platypus." Bring back fond memories? If so, then take heart-that long-gone staple of the junior-high A/V department has been brought back to life by Salt Lake City's Williams & Rockwood in a kooky new spot for Zions Bank.

The concept, which grew out of a similar print campaign, was to propose silly ways of saving money and then compare them to refinancing your home mortgage at Zion. One of the price-choppin' suggestions was serving beans for dinner, but the agency was stuck on how best to execute this in a cute and low-budget way when writer Jeff Becker hit on the idea of parodying '50s-style filmstrips.

Additional credits to CD/AD Scott Rockwood; photographer Daniel Arsenault shot

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