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Order now and get a free fake dog poo! In the fashion of our defunct Cliff Freeman Comedy Corner, we present this month, and, we hope, this month only-drum roll, please -Creativity's Mondo Bizzaro Collection. Here's a collection of TV spots that can only be described as, uh, charmingly different.

Take, for example, Crispin Porter & Bogusky's first execution, so to speak, for Longhorn Steakhouse. There's a condemned man who breaks out of the slammer to take out his last meal, a phat slab of beef from none other than Longhorn, which he's kind enough to eat in his cell. It was the "Oooooooh, steak," tagline that got our mouths watering.

Then there's Gyro's :30 for Cincinnati's Q102 FM. Painfully kitschy L.A. lounge act Marty and Elayne Roberts of Swingers fame croon, bop and give us indigestion with their E-Z Cheese, all shot with sub-camcorder production values.

Meanwhile, up North, Leo Burnett/Toronto is pushing Pizza Pops on young boys, illustrating their gooey delights with shots of pizza filling bursting out of them like freshly squeezed zits.

Continuing on the pizza theme, Eisner & Associates somehow attempts to promote Mrs. Paul's fish sticks by introducing us to a pizza delivery guy who's more like an obsessive-compulsive pie-hurlin' stalker. OK, so we won't get the pizza delivered, we'll make Tombstone.

And finally, Mad Dogs & Englishman did our heads in with a recent campaign for Boston Trading Company. A big yellow computer graphics smiley face looms over philosophically-grounded text. Then it burps. Loud. One of those belches you can practically, um, taste.

Where are the standards and practice dweebs when you need them?

We're waiting for the DVD version. They're busy little bees over there at D&AD in London. Besides recently releasing a lofty new tome on the fine art of art direction (reviewed in this issue on page 35), they've also come out with the first CD-ROM version of the D&AD Annual (the 1996 edition, that is), which was released in January.

At a cost of $350, the four-disc set is a carefully constructed collection of the same work found in the annual, with some important additions. Obviously it includes the television and radio work in living sound and compressed but nonetheless moving pictures, but it also provides its users with extensive cross-referencing of agencies, clients, directors, designers, typographers etc. As such, it becomes a more detailed archive of the work that made it into D&AD, which is one of the goals the organization had in mind when planning the project. Indeed, D&AD plans to produce a CD-ROM each year, and each edition will contain a reference to work included the year before, allowing users to begin building an historical guide to their archive as well as a visual one.

D&AD's effort comes three years after the One Club released its first annual on CD-ROM. That disc, which was produced by The Leap Partnership, did not meet with nearly as much acceptance as was hoped, and the One Club did not repeat the project the following year. However, there are plans to produce a CD-ROM version of the winning television, radio and interactive work from this year's competition. One Club director Mary Warlick expects the disc to be released in conjunction with the release of the One Show annual this fall.

D&AD decided to take a different approach with its first disc publication, opting to include the entire body of work recognized in the '96 competition. While the One Club sees its '97 CD as a complement to its printed annual, the D&AD sees their disc as a somewhat different animal.

"The book is the book, and ever more shall be so," says D&AD director David Kester. "Creatives like to leaf through it and see their work beautifully presented. The CD, on the other hand, is a completely unique referencing tool for the best in advertising and design. Only with the CD can we bring together all the media and represent the work as it was originally conceived.

"To get the full value of the D&AD awards it used to be necessary to get the video and the book," he continues. "Even then it might take you forever to locate one particular commercial on a three-and-a-half hour reel. All that has now changed."

The discs were designed and produced by AMX Digital in London, which did a masterful job of creating a sensible, easy to navigate schematic for the material. To order a copy of the CD-ROM, contact the D&AD in London at 011/44/171-582-6487.

Reason 502: they now come in a size that fits Godzilla. In celebration of the Levi's Japan line upgrade (Levi's were available until fairly recently in one length and one length only in Japan-presumably short), London's Bartle Bogle Hegarty produced a campaign to run in Japanese lifestyle magazines, the translated copy reading, "You can choose the size by the length." Bruce Brown, photographer and collector of rare and foreign insects, shot a stag beetle for the men and a Goliath beetle for the women's line. Credit also creative director

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