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Kiss my schuss. Seattle's Hammerquist & Saffel has created this all-attitude campaign for Olin skis, starring Smooth Johnson, a tell-it-like-it-is ski instructor with some killer oneliners. Unfortunately, Smooth is a fictitious character (the talent installs transmissions outside of Portland), but he serves his purpose in giving the Olin name a little kick. There's even a little underground Smooth fan club thing going on in the skiing community, says copywriter Ian Cohen.

Olin, according to Cohen, was known as "the old people's skis," but the name is now, thanks to old-person Smooth, rising to be the King of the Carve. Postcards, bumper stickers and toothpick boxes have been handed out at trade shows and there are a few POP posters produced to complete this round of the campaign. Some of Smooth's more memorable master quotes are: "One student asked me, 'Hey Smooth, should I use more of my hips or more of my shoulders going into the carve?' I just looked at him and said, 'Use more of your balls, son. More of your balls.'" And: "I think Americans are the greatest skiers on Earth. Alaskans are second, but Americans, they're the best." Credit also creative directors Fred Hammerquist and Hugh Saffel, art director Mike Proctor and photographer Ken Anderson.

He gives good foot. The first radio spot from FCB/New York for Fila's Stack II shoe, named for the Sixers' Jerry Stackhouse, is, appropriately, about shoes. And, says copywriter David Rosen, about the nasty stuff one can say to one's shoes. Lucky for the creatives working on this :60 smooth, on the R&B tip spot, the man, the lover, the StackDaddy hisself, likes to sing in his spare time. Explains Rosen, "Stackhouse's first step and his agility is his big thing-but this is about his personality." The lyrics go a little something like this:

The way I feel,

You know the love is real,

With your leather and lace,

You got a tongue but not a face.

Left and right,

I like all the things you do.

Just show me that you love me,

'Cuz I love the both of you.

Chorus: Jerry loves his Fila shoes.

I know I'm gonna score with you.

Chorus: He really loves his Fila shoes.

I'm taking off my socks, baby.

Chorus: What is Jerry talkin' 'bout?

You want a double-knot, dontcha?

Chorus: I think the man is freakin' out.

Ooh, I love it when you make that

little squeaky noise.

Additional credits to creative director Sam Gulisano, art director Scott Bassen, producer Karl Westman and McHale Barone Productions, New York.

You vant a cowboy yum-yum, Shtinky? Two recent campaigns for Ikea sport polar-opposite attitudes, but both tout the same Ikea philosophy-something along the lines of, "Stuff you can use." Deutsch, New York, has four :15s for the Ikea Bedroom Event with scenes straight out of real life, shot in grainy cinema verite-art director Jim Basirico says he knows the stories too well, and, indeed, they're embarrassingly familiar. "Dresser," for example, is two kids playing with Mom's underwear. "Maybe you don't need better kids," professes the copy, "just a taller dresser." In "Mirror," a woman struggles while looking at her reflection until she falls off the bed she's standing on.

Credit also CD Kathy Delaney, ACD Joanne Scanello, writer Molly Finley and producer Guy Williams. Directed by Harvey Wang of Maysles Films; cut by Salamo Levin at Editing Concepts.

McCann-Erickson/Seattle has an hysterical campaign for the local Ikea, about 20 minutes outside the city, emphasizing the theme, "Sometimes all you want is a chair you can actually sit on." Sprockets-esque actor Toby Huss, discovered by copywriter Bobby Pearce on an MTV promo, took the agency's simple ideas and ran with them via improv, his pretentious and tortured Teutonic soul praising his outrageously mod yet useless furniture-a chair made of nails, another made from a shopping cart, a couch shaped like lips-alongside his trusty stuffed Doberman, Stinky.

Agency credits to CD Jim Walker, AD Karla Childers, writer Bobby Pearce and producer Stacy Chatfield. Directed by Billy Kent of Crash Films; in-house editing by Kelly VanderLinda.

Where the rubbers meet the road. In the latest installment of Pirelli's "Power is nothing without control" tire theme, created by Young & Rubicam/London, Marie-Jo Perec, the fastest woman on earth, plays with fire, ice and rain to demonstrate the sure-footedness of the Pirelli name. Following the last spot, which featured Carl Lewis, Perec suggests a different kind of power, one more overtly rooted in sexuality, as the landscape that impedes her journey is also inflamed by her. This may have something to do with her almost invisible one-piece bathing suit.

Directed by Gerard de Thame (repped by HSI in the States), the :60 was shot at locations like Monument Valley, Anchorage and Buffalo Bill Lake, Wyo. Deft CGI manipulations create the effect of a haunting landscape that chases Perec.

Agency credits to creative director Mike Couzens, art director Mark Edwards, copywriter Judi Kinglsey and producer Fayban Daw. Visual effects by London's The Mill; music by the Chemical Brothers.

The Chicago Show

April 17th

at Shelter

564 West Fulton Street

Information: (312) 321-9464

The San Francisco Show

April 24th

at The Fillmore Auditorium

1805 Geary Boulevard

Information: (415) 986-429

The Andy Awards

April 29th

Cocktails at Laura Belle

120 West 43rd Street

Awards at Town Hall Theater

123 West 43rd Street

Information: (212) 533-8080

The Obies

May 1st

at Manhattan Center

311 West 34th Street

Information: (212) 688-3667

The Clios

May 13th

(Radio, Print and Package Design)

May 14th (Television)

Dinner at Laura Belle

120 West 43rd Street

Awards at Town Hall Theater

123 West 43rd Street

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